Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday, March 5, 2010

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007 at the Andrew's Air Force Base Open House. This air force base opens their doors to the public once a year, and at the show Mattie got to see the Thunderbirds perform as well as walk aboard various air force planes. Mattie had a great time at this event, and loved running around and exploring the aircrafts. He also got to meet many air force personnel that day and he thought the whole experience was terrific.

Poem of the day: Thank You Friend by Randah R. Hamadeh

Thank you friend for always being there for me

And seeing what I saw and did not see

I am blessed to have you by my side

At good times, bad times, and when I lost my child

You have accepted the person I became

And realized that your friend can not be the same!
Friend, you have never asked me to change
And never considered any of my behaviors strange

You have decided to walk with me at my pace

And understood that no one can take Samar’s place

You respected my daily sorrow and tears

And appreciated my strength in facing my loss and fears

You wished me patience and serenity of the soul

And prayed that God helps me survive living with my hole
You even joined me in appreciating the sunrise
This significant act dear friend is not a surprise!
Although the burden you carry is not small
You never shy away from listening to me, not at all
Thank you for always tolerating my talk
About my beloved Samar, since the days she started to walk
Although seeing me immersed in grief is painful to you
You are always there for me, the friend I knew
With you dear friend, I will always feel free
To talk about my loss at any stage or degree
I am grateful that you do not push me to move along
And acknowledge my pain and listen to my song
Thank you dear friend for all the support
And God bless you, for the comfort you brought

I have been under the weather thanks to a tetanus injection I received on Wednesday. I continue to have a fever today, and my arm is incredibly painful. In fact, my arm is swollen by the site of the injection. Under any other circumstance this would frighten me, but because this has happened to me in the past with each tetanus shot I have received, I know I just have to ride out the reaction.

I spent the day with Mary (Ann's mom). Mary was discharged from the rehabilitation facility she was in for the past month and moved into a new assisted living facility today. Ann and I had two very full car loads of furniture and other items to transport, which went off without a hitch. We spent a good portion of the day getting Mary acclimated to her new surroundings and of course unpacking and arranging her room. With all new places, there is always an adjustment, but I would have to say the family who runs the facility tried VERY hard to make Mary happy. That was a good first sign. After lunch Mary wanted to go back to her room. I think she has been conditioned to do this based on the previous facilities she has living in. However, after a period of time in her room, where she was helping me pick out pictures to hang up on the wall, she then decided she wanted to be a part of the action in the house. So she was brave enough to venture out of her room, and join the others. She got to listen to the piano, hear some singing, and then we read her newspaper together in the living room. Going into any new surrounding is challenging, but Mary handled it very well. But I attribute that greatly to having Ann and I with her throughout the day. There is comfort in knowing that those who advocate for you are around, especially in the beginning. I was happy I could be there today to help, and I always find it fun to turn chaos into something livable. Hopefully Mary is happy with how her room was transformed.

It is a short blog tonight because I am tired and need to rest, but when I got home this evening, Ann let me know that Katie won a costume contest at school. Some of you may remember back in early February, I helped Katie design a Greek goddess (Athena) costume. Katie and I discussed which goddess to portray. I have always been a fan of mythology, so this was actually a fun project for me. I distinctly remember Katie was interested in two different goddesses at the time, but was unsure of which one to be. As soon as she mentioned Athena as one of her choices, I said that is who she should be. Athena is always pictured with books, after all she is the goddess of wisdom. I assure you, Katie is the modern day Athena, and loves books just as much. I was thrilled to hear that our costume won and felt a great sense of satisfaction in helping Katie. I included a picture of Katie in the costume. Try to imagine the costume without the striped shirt, and Katie holding a book and a helmet. The costume was made out of a blue bed sheet, that was starched and pressed. Then I sewed gold trim around the neck line and at the base of the dress and velcroed the sides of the sheet together to finish off the dress. I need to celebrate these small accomplishments because as I said to Peter tonight, I still wake up each day wondering whether it is worth getting out of bed in the morning.

I would like to end tonight's posting with two messages. The first message is from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "I know yesterday was really hard for you. Some days are worse than others. When you are ill it is just one more thing that saps your energy and makes it difficult to get through the day. I know yesterday had to be difficult for Ann and Mary as well; going through all those things and touching the memories they brought forth, I am sure they were very grateful for your help. Doing all that you had to be thinking what it would be like to go through Mattie's things; what an impossible task at this point in your life. When you decide it is time to do some of that, I hope you have someone like Ann to stand beside you as you did for her yesterday. I know you would have liked to be there at the book signing and it was lovely that Peter could attend and have the opportunity to thank Laurie for her support. I am delighted that the foundation is already starting to help those families struggling with cancer; the gift of the printer is much appreciated I am sure. I do hope you feel better today and that as I wait for the sun to break through the clouds, may a ray of hope find it's way into your heart as well. I hold you gently in my thoughts."
 
The second message is from one of Mattie's favorite HEM/ONC nurses, Katie (aka: Dorothy - for her beautiful red shoes). Katie wrote, "Yesterday was my day off but I heard that Peter was here in the clinic for the book signing. I'm sorry that you were under the weather and I'm sorry I missed Peter. I would have loved to have seen you all. I really miss you guys. I thought about you all on Tuesday. Has it really been 6 months? I put that bracelet that we made together with the bead lady on the gear shift in my car so that I see it every day. I fingered the little bird bead and said hello to Mattie just this morning. I hope you feel the prayers that are being sent your way and I hope you are beginning to feel some healing."