Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2007 at Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA. As we entered this theme park there was a train that gave attendees a ride around the park. Mattie and Peter realized this would be my kind of ride, so they entertained me by selecting to do this ride first. All the other rides they did that day, I simply observed and took pictures of them having fun together. I was actually fine with that because one of my favorites things to do is people watch.

Quote of the day: Love is a fabric that never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the waters of adversity and grief. ~ Anonymous

It was another very hot day in Washington, DC and Peter and I planned to go to the shopping mall today. Though I do not feel like celebrating my birthday, my friend Ann is having a small dinner with a few friends tomorrow in my honor. So Peter and I went out in a way today to acknowledge the occasion. We didn't talk about my birthday or celebrating, which is just fine with me. I don't feel like celebrating and on some level Peter must know this. He did surprise me with a wonderful birthday gift yesterday. Something I very much needed, but had no idea I was getting. Needless to say, this gift will inspire me to do more typing and thinking as I try to tell Mattie's story in a book format.

We had a lovely lunch at my favorite restaurant at the Mall, Seasons 52. Seasons 52 is a special place to me, because it reminds me of all the trips we took to Florida with Mattie. It was in Fort Lauderdale, that we were all introduced to Seasons 52. Mattie loved the restaurant and the food! The restaurant is described as "Seasonally-inspired dining choices expertly designed to excite and surprise the palate." I would say this is quite accurate and if the food doesn't amaze you, the desserts certainly will. They offer mini indulgences, which are shot glass sized desserts. Somehow these indulgences always make me smile. Over lunch we talked about many things, but of course Mattie. When we both landed up in tears, we realized we had to change the subject otherwise neither of us was going to be able to eat.

Later today I went to visit Ann's mom, Mary. Mary and I have spent every afternoon and evening together for the last two weeks. I brought her a piece of the chocolate cake I made and she devoured it. I wasn't sure if she was going to like it since I wasn't sure I liked it myself. But I promised her a piece of cake the day I baked it, and though she may not remember this promise, I do. To my surprise she liked the cake! During this two week time period, I have also gotten to know Catherine, one of the residents on Mary's floor. Catherine is actually much younger than most of the other residents, perhaps in her 60s. So adjusting to this new living environment for such a young person is very challenging. I know she has appreciated my visits and being able to dialogue with someone daily. This weekend, I met Catherine's sister who was visiting. It turns out Catherine, her sister, and I all like reading the same books. So today we did a book exchange, which I thought was a very nice and thoughtful gesture. Catherine's sister is reading the same book that I am right now, and we had a great time talking about it. I actually HATE the book and one of the main characters. It was good to know that I am NOT alone. I would really like to stop reading the book but the topic of euthanasia interests me.

As I left the assisted living facilty this evening, I explained to Mary that she wouldn't be seeing me tomorrow. Since Ann returns on Monday. Mary absorbed that information and though she is thrilled to be able to see her daughter, I can tell she has gotten used to our routine. However, no matter how much one loves a family member, a break from caregiving routines and tasks is VERY needed. Caring for an impaired older adult is fraught with many challenges that can take a large physical and emotional toll on the caregiver. Without a break and change of perspective, one can easily burnout. I know this firsthand, but I also know this from years of psychological caregiver research that I have read and conducted. So though Ann doesn't ask me to give her a break, I on some level am happy I can do this to hopefully give her some sort of peace of mind while she is away.