Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2002. Mattie was six months old and absolutely LOVING his "tot wheels." Tot wheels was a jazzy walker, designed to look like a car. Since Mattie desperately wanted to walk, the walker was the ideal gizmo for him. Once his feet touched the ground, he was off. He loved riding around inside our home and in our commons area. The commons area is fabulous, because it is completely gated off from the street! Mattie spent many hours in this vehicle and I can still recall all the sounds it made in my head.
Quote of the day: The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. ~ Ernest Hemingway
I saw Dr. Wolffe in July at Sibley Hospital. He was referred to me by the first orthopedist who evaluated me. Since then I have been doing my homework and Wolffe is considered a renowned physician around the country who specializes in hip arthroscopy, hip preservation and sports medicine. He is the surgeon for the Washington Ballet and other sports teams. Apparently he is one of the pioneers of arthroscopic surgery to repair the hip. In July, he prescribed physical therapy for my hip and to continue taking oral anti-inflammatory meds. I did physical therapy for two weeks and then the therapist dismissed me as she could see it wasn't helping. So I went back to Wolffe today for follow up and next steps.
He told me in July that the next step before surgery would be a cortisone shot in the hip. Given that the surgery (even arthroscopically) has a long recovery time, the goal is to try to stabilize my hip pain and to push surgery off for as long as possible. I dreaded going into the office this morning because I was worried about the cortisone injection.
I watched a youtube video to prepare myself for today, and instead of helping it elevated my fears. The video did not feature my doctor mind you. When I told Wolffe my fears today, as with a typical surgeon, he had NO emotional reaction. Part of me wants to know whether surgery picks the doctor, or the doctor picks surgery! There is just a standard personality pattern, I have noticed.
But then again, I don't want an anxious or hysterical surgeon, do I!? It was the tone of the doctor today that caught my attention. I could sense that to him such a shot is common place and he does them all the time. Given his skill and that his patients don't have complications, I gave him the go ahead to administer the shot.
After he left the room, his medical assistant came in to prep the room for the procedure. In the video I saw yesterday, an xray machine was used. Today, a hand held sonogram was used to precisely place the needle. 
There is a level of trust one has to have when working with a physician. Today I gave into my fear and issues with trust and allowed him to administer the shot. So Hemingway's quote is quite apropos. I had to trust this doctor in order for him to gain my trust. Quite a commentary. However, I do not go into any medical procedure like the average person. I have a lot of baggage from Mattie's treatment that comes with me. MOST physicians can't understand this and I would beg to say that many people in my life don't quite comprehend it either. My fears maybe not be rational, but to me they are very real. I would say this doctor did not win me over with words or support, but it was his demeanor that captured my attention. In this case, having someone SO familiar with my issue and operating on people like me weekly, that it gave me the confidence today to have the shot.
Bottom line, my physical therapist said the shot would be painful. The Youtube video looked painful, but today's actual procedure seemed to happen within seconds. He did it beautifully. I can't say I am pain free now however, but I hope to see a difference maybe in time.
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