Tonight's composition highlights all of Mattie's 7 birthdays with us. It is hard to believe he was with us for 7 years and now we have celebrated his birthday alone for ten years!
Top row from left to right:
2002: Mattie's birth day at Virginia Hospital Center; 2003: Mattie's first birthday, with an Elmo theme; 2004: Mattie's second birthday, with a train theme
Middle row from left to right: 2006: Mattie's fourth birthday, with a dinosaur theme; 2009: Mattie's seventh and last birthday, celebrated in the hospital
Bottom row from left to right: 2005: Mattie's third birthday, with a Blues Clues theme; 2007: Mattie's fifth birthday, with a Cars theme; and 2008: Mattie's sixth birthday, with a Scooby Doo theme
Quote of the day: Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept him from you. ~ Ally Carter
On Mattie's 17th birthday, we decided to plan something to do, otherwise we would most likely retreat. Before I left DC, I bought tickets to a house tour of Charleston. Once a year, private homes open up to the public to showcase their history. We had access to tour ten homes today. We made it to half of them. After a while, I couldn't remember one house from the other. I believe this was the case because of how they were presented.
First of all, when I booked the tickets, I booked a "walking tour." I literally thought we would have a tour guide who would take us from house to house. But that wasn't how it worked. Instead, we were given a passport to view all the houses and a map. We then had to find our way around on our own from house to house. Once at the house, there were guides. You can't tour the house freely and they move you along way too quickly. Not really giving you a good feeling for the history of the home or the people who currently live in it. So I would say the tour itself is disappointing. Putting that aside, I enjoyed going into these old beauties and getting more familiar with the Charleston "single house" style.
Historically, iron was not only made into gates, but also into grilles for first-floor windows, sharp spikes on top of fences, and boot scrapers (a necessity before paved streets). In the mid to late 1800's, iron was increasingly used for embellishing gates with beautiful life-like replicas of flowers, leaves and branches that reflected the popular Victorian style.
Peter had his orange on, in memory of Mattie!
Here are the exteriors of the five homes we toured today. We were not allowed to take photos inside the homes. This is a classic "single house." First thing you notice about Charleston homes is they are LONG and narrow.
A single house has a long porch that runs the length of the structure and serves as an exterior hallway and patio. The interiors of Charleston single houses are consistent, usually one room wide and several rooms long. It’s the exteriors of the houses that come in many shapes and styles, including Georgian, Federal, Italianate and many many more. Another feature of the single house is the front door, which actually leads to the ground level porch or patio and then to the actual front door.
I don't think I will forget this house anytime soon. The family living in it is from Italy. The family has occupied this house for many decades and the house is literally furnished with family heirlooms from Italy that date back many generations.
Main take away here was this house was designed by a woman. Which was VERY unusual back in the 1800's, as we were told that women only built homes or had land if they inherited it from a deceased husband. That wasn't the case here, as the woman in question was not a widow.
This house was a beauty. Maybe my favorite. The sad part is that it was once 10,000 square feet in total. Now, the house has been partitioned. There are two apartments and an office, that occupy half of the house.
On Mattie's birthday, I always post "My Dearest Mattie" letter. I wrote this letter and had it on display during Mattie's celebration of life ceremony in October of 2009. Mattie loved to hear about the day he was born. The last time I shared this story with him was on August 5, 2009, the day we learned Mattie's cancer metastasized throughout his body. Somehow he knew it was a bad day, and therefore climbed into my lap in the Hospital rose garden and requested to hear the story below.
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My Dearest Mattie,
It is said that parents love their children right from the moment they are born. However, in your case, our love for you began as soon as we learned we were going to have a baby. In fact, right after seeing your sonogram picture, we felt like proud parents. We posted those pictures everywhere. We shared these pictures with practically anyone who would listen or showed interest, and each September when I taught prenatal development in my undergraduate human development class, out would come your sonogram pictures to illustrate my points. Even my students got a sneak peek at our baby, a baby who would have a profound and meaningful impact on not just his parents but also every community he touched. Daddy and I did not only love you, we FELL IN LOVE with you, and that love grew stronger with each day. Your energy, spirit, love for life, intellectual challenges, sense of humor, and loyalty to your friends and family were only some of the wonderful traits we always admired in you.
This video is a tribute to you and your wonderful, yet short life. It seems fitting as we celebrate you, and say good-bye to your physical presence that I share the story about how you entered the world. The story of your birth had to be one of your most favorite stories to hear, and I found during times when you were reflective, overly tired, or in need of hugs and tenderness, the request for this story arose. In fact, I remember on August 5th, the day we found out that your cancer metastasized everywhere, you and I were sitting in the hospital’s rose garden, and you requested the story. It was almost as if you knew this was going to be a bad day, so in essence we might as well brace ourselves, cuddle, and prepare for this together.
Here is the story I always shared with you. A story Daddy and I will never forget. On April 2, 2002, at 11pm, I decided to head to bed. I was anxiously awaiting your birth, and as your due date approached, I couldn’t help but wonder, when will “the baby” be coming? I was restless and uncomfortable, so while in bed, I began to watch television. I was having trouble concentrating on what I was hearing, mainly because you were kicking up a storm inside of me. At which point, the kicking became so intense, that I literally felt something pop. You clearly wanted OUT, and you were going to kick your way into the world on your terms. Naturally after feeling this pop, I looked down at my tummy, and when I jumped out of bed, I realized my water had broken. This only happens to 25% of moms, and in retrospect, I should have guessed that this was just the beginning of how different our lives were going to be together. I immediately called the doctor and told her what happened. She asked if I was in pain, which I wasn’t, and she instead told me to get a good night’s rest, because my baby was going to be born the following day. Well I can assure you after hearing this news, sleeping was the farthest thing from our minds.
So on April 3, 2002, Daddy and I headed to the hospital and we were admitted to the maternity unit at 8am. The labor process began, but it was a VERY slow process for me, and at times as you moved inside my tummy, Daddy could see your head pushing against my backbone. Needless to say Dr. Mike, the anesthesiologist, became my favorite doctor that day. The hours kept rolling by, and still there was NO sign of our baby! I was getting weaker, I developed an 102 fever, and by 11pm I really had no energy to give birth to you. In addition, to how I was feeling, your oxygen supply was getting cut off, and your chin was positioned in such a way that would make the birthing process almost impossible. So it was at that point that the doctor recommended an emergency c-section. Things began to happen very quickly around me. I was signing paperwork for surgery and Daddy was being transformed by putting on a bunny suit so he could enter the operating room.
I had never been in an operating room before in my life, but I really wasn’t concerned at that point about myself. I was solely focused upon you. I was wide-awake for the c-section, but unable to see the process, which as you know, was probably a good thing. Daddy on the other hand found the whole thing very exciting, and began to videotape and take pictures of the surgery. Literally a team of people surrounded me and I will never forget Dr. Mike, the anesthesiologist who sat by my side, and talked with me and did whatever he could to keep me pain free.
When you have a c-section, your arms are strapped to the operating table, so I couldn’t move, and directly over my head was what appeared to be a rope with a clamp that was holding open my abdominal cavity. Normally by this point I would have passed out, but when it came to you, I developed strength I never knew I had. As the doctor began cutting, and finally got to you, the first thing she said was, “what is this?” That is NOT what you typically hope to hear when having a c-section. The doctor let me know that I had a grapefruit sized tumor on my bladder, and my immediate thought was, did this affect the baby? The next thing I knew, I felt her tugging, and I heard the loudest cry ever. Now here is the part of the story that I know was always your FAVORITE! I would always try to replicate the sound I heard coming from you that day, a sound that will always remain in a parent’s ear. It was a very large WAAHHH! WAAHHH! At which point the doctor told us two things: first, that you were one of the most beautiful babies she had ever seen, and second, that you had quite a set of lungs on you! I concurred with both statements.
The doctor then brought you over to me, and she felt that I needed to be the first person to touch you. So despite my arms strapped to the table, my right hand miraculously reached out and grabbed your tiny, soft, and cute foot. It was a moment I will always cherish, a moment in which I will never forget, and a moment I am so happy you too enjoyed hearing about. Each time I retold the story I felt as if it further bonded us together, and I always enjoyed hearing your comments, thoughts, and reactions to your story.
Seeing you made Daddy very happy! Though he was worried about me, since after the c-section, I had to have bladder surgery to remove the tumor, we both agreed that Daddy should stay with you and accompany you to the nursery. It is there that Daddy got to see you cleaned up, he learned that you weighed 6 pounds and 13 ounces, and that you had high Apgar scores of 8 and 9. Within an instant, Daddy became one of your fiercest protectors, and he cared for you for five days straight while we were in the hospital together. In fact, Daddy is the first person who changed your diaper, and though those were five very challenging days in the hospital, they were days that helped us form our strong family ties. Ties that were imperative and that we relied on for seven years of your life!
Your presence is so greatly missed. Nothing seems the same, is the same, looks, feels, or tastes the same without you in our lives. May you always know that Mommy and Daddy love you, cherish you, and that feeling will remain with us forever and always. Good-bye my Mooshi Moo angel and goodbye Daddy’s best buddy. With love from Una Moon and Daddy!
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