A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



June 29, 2020

Monday, June 29, 2020

Monday, June 29, 2020

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2005. Mattie was three years old and we took him to Los Angeles to visit my parents. It always took Mattie a few days to adjust to the three hour time difference and literally he would be up at 4am, unable to go back to sleep. So we had some very early mornings! Which meant that Peter and I were up and starting the usual morning routine of breakfast and playing. At some point, Mattie took one of his toy boxes and decided to parade around the house with it on his head! The beauty and whimsy of Mattie!





Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins
  • number of people who were diagnosed with the virus: 2,587,154
  • number of people who died from the virus: 126,127

Another 6am morning. Today the second caregiver assigned to work with my dad arrived at 8am. I get up early so that I can shower, get dressed, and start breakfast for my mom and me. Peter is good at taking care of himself, so I don't worry about him. When today's caregiver arrived, I had to start all over again. With training about getting my dad up, helping with toileting, and the whole shower process. Of course in the midst of all of this, there are chores like emptying urinals, making the bed, doing laundry, etc. So I had to review this whole process with the caregiver. Today's caregiver was a night and day difference from the one over the weekend. This lady was quiet, yet competent, attentive, and wanted to understand the dynamics of the family. 

Last night, while in bed, I realized that I hadn't given my dad his evening pills. One of which was a blood pressure pill. Needless to say, I won't be making this mistake again. It was a complete oversight, only because I am managing SO MUCH. Let me remind my readers that we moved my parents into their current home LAST MONDAY and TUESDAY. A move is hard enough, but with a health care crisis, good luck. In the month I have been here, I have missed one dosage of medication, which I think is remarkable. 

Yet when my dad's PT got here today, my dad's blood pressure was so high, that therapy wasn't allowed to be performed today. The therapist had to report the high pressure to the health care company, which sent the info to my dad's doctor. You can imagine how these people made me feel today. No one has any compassion for the caregiver. At all! It is disheartening and it is 7pm and I am ready to scream. 

As my dad is experiencing constipation again, the same thing that landed him in the hospital on June 16th! I just called the doctor and I have no idea what the evening will hold for us! I literally feel this situation is critical at best and that my dad needs round the clock supervision and support. 



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