Friday, May 16, 2025

Friday, May 16, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2009. This Sunday will be Mattie Miracle's 16th annual Walk, I can't help but be transported back in time. This photo was taken on the track of Mattie's school during the Mattie March. The event was coordinated by Team Mattie, to show the community's support for Mattie and us. Truly all our communities united..... schools, universities, businesses, and the hospital staff! This photo was taken minutes before we all started walking. At that moment in time, the hope was for a cure and we thought Mattie would be heading back to school that Fall. It is hard to believe that four months after this photo was taken, Mattie died. 

Quote of the day: Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

It was another busy morning juggling my dad, my mom's physical therapist and Steve. Steve has been helping me this week get my fountain back up and operational. He located a bigger water pump for me so that the fountain actually splashes and makes that beautiful water sound. Since my husband left, I haven't cleaned this fountain out for two years. I literally had kept it running for two winters, by putting a bird bath heating coil in it. However, that isn't good for the life of the pump and certainly doesn't help with the muck that builds up in the fountain. But honestly there are so many things I have had to address and learn as a single woman, that the fountain was low on the list of problems. 

Steve spent two hours today vacuuming out the old water, scrubbing out the muck, installing the pump, and refilling it with water. He has told me what I need to do weekly to maintain the water level in the fountain and now we have a plan for winterizing the fountain and then opening it up again in the spring. Knowing that I can turn to someone helps a great deal because I feel like I am living on an abandoned ship, with no lifeboats on most days. 

I can't believe that I am two days away from the Foundation's 16th annual walk. This is the second Walk I will be doing without my other half. Has it gotten any easier? NO! Not because I need the help running the Walk, but because of what the Walk symbolizes. It is hard to acknowledge that I carry Mattie's legacy alone, that I do not have a spouse to share ups, downs, and a future with, and it is simply a sickening feeling having to do greetings of our Walk supporters alone. We were always a tag team, we worked well together, and as so many people have told me..... we were the model couple that so many looked up to. 

It takes great courage, strength, and perseverance to carry on, to try to figure out everything for myself, and truthfully not to crack up. When I say this, I am not kidding, because like with Mattie's loss, I once again face something that makes no sense to me. May Mattie watch over me, as I will be looking for his signs on Walk Day.