A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



December 7, 2025

Saturday, December 6, 2025

It is 1:30am and I have been in the emergency room with my dad since 7pm. When he woke up this morning I knew something was wrong as he asked me for a tape measure while he was still in bed. Why? Because he thought he was moving and had to measure his bed. His confusion, disorientation and weakness continued throughout the day! I knew I had to do something. I called his cardiologist who suggested I go to urgent care to check his electrolytes since he started a diuretic! 

Note to self…. skip urgent care with a 90 year old! They can’t do testing and get same day blood test results. So I took my parents to the hospital as I didn’t know what I was dealing with and in his weakened state he could fall and injure himself. 

We got the A team in the ER! I love the doctor! My dad is dealing with an infection of some sort and a small brain bleed. I met with the neurosurgeon team and for now they are watching the bleed with the hope it clots up and doesn’t expand. We await another ct scan in six hours. But they wanted to know what I elected to do if the bleed expands and I’m not present! I said, I would want him to be operated on otherwise he would die or be incapacitated.

I’m worn out, still in the ER and awaiting admission! I just can’t leave my dad as he’s super confused, can’t answer questions or advocate for himself! As a recap, this is my dad’s third hospital admission this year! Even before I got to the hospital today, I was exhausted! Now there isn’t a word in the English language for my current state! 

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