Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Tuesday, December 16, 2025 -- Mattie died 824 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2004. Mattie was two and half years old and FULLY ON! Mattie naturally gravitated to vehicles. Anything with wheels for that matter. If you look in the background behind him, do you see that green thing on the floor? That was his sippy cup of milk! I am telling you that cup went everywhere with us..... regardless of the weather! What I love most about this photo was Mattie's beautiful smile and how his hands were always in motion exploring the world. 

Quote of the day: Your memory feels like home to me, so whenever my mind wanders, it always finds its way back to you. ~ Ranata Suzuki

I woke up early this morning because my dad had a cardiology follow up appointment. Keep in mind that my dad's cardiology office called me to set up this appointment a few days ago and claimed that the appointment had to be this week. As I was moving about with my morning chores, the phone rang at 8:30am. It was the cardiology office letting me know that they had to cancel today's appointment. Why? Because it was too close to my dad's discharge date! The insanity of this, I just couldn't make this up! I questioned the woman on the phone because I wanted to know why she knew that today's appointment was too close to the discharge date but the person who made this follow up appointment had NO IDEA? Of course there is no answer!

The home health agency sent over a nurse today to do an assessment of my dad. We have been working with this nurse for over a year now. She is lovely and she agreed with me that the "skin tear" on my dad's back (which he got at the hospital) is actually a stage two pressure wound. Thankfully, I recognized this on discharge and have been treating is ever since! But at the hospital, they weren't even covering the wound!

My dad is still in pain. He isn't screaming and moaning as much as yesterday, but still has pain and he is dragging both of his feet along the floor, making him a great candidate for falling. So if he is up and moving, I have to be right next to him. Truly if I thought my life before hospitalization was hard, it is ten times harder now. Especially since outside of the house I will need to use a wheelchair.

At some point this morning, I decided to make homemade soup, since we will be home and I need things for lunch! During October, I purchased two big pumpkins to display outside. Ironically with all our wildlife, none of them scratched or bit into the pumpkins. Then with our frigid temperatures, the pumpkins froze. I brought one inside yesterday and it defrosted, I cut it up, and cooked it! I made pumpkin apple soup and it was delicious! Even my dad ate it!

Given that I wrote a letter of complaint to my dad's hospital yesterday, I received two phone calls today in response. One from the director of nursing from my dad's hospital unit and the other was from the director of case management to discuss the case manager who called security on me (read last night's blog for more specifics). Both calls were fruitful, and each of the woman was extremely professional and took my feedback and issues seriously. Some of my issues are very serious, as my dad has a pain score of 6 out of 10, and was sent home with NO pain medication! I have tried for 48 hours to get through to my dad's doctor regarding this matter, and got no where! However, after talking to these women today, don't you know it.... a pain med script was received at our pharmacy! I could go on and on, but what these women understood after talking to me, is that I am not a novice to caregiving or to the healthcare system. But what happens to patients who do not have a Vicki? Truthfully this is deeply frightening to me, especially since I am divorced and lost my son. 

While my parents were resting today, I finally went grocery shopping! I wasn't sure I could find a time this week to do this with managing appointments, therapy schedules and caregiving! But I did it! Watching me shop is probably hysterical, as I move like the wind! I know where everything is located in the store and given all I juggle, I unfortunately can't just wander around. However, while reaching for milk, a man stopped to talk with me. He was struggling with what cream to purchase. He went on to tell me that he is making his friends Brandy Alexanders! Since I never had one, I asked for clarity! He also explained that some people he is serving are on diets. By the time I finished with him, I convinced him to buy real cream, as this is a holiday and special drink. Also the thickness will be very different if it is a fat free product! Any case, there was something about this dialogue that made me chuckle. I was chuckling because I feel and look like a train wreck, yet here was a complete stranger asking for my opinion! Any case, I was very successful at getting many of the items I need to make Christmas dinner. I literally start this process days ahead of Christmas, as it is easy for me to prep one dish at a time, because I am home, but I first needed access to all the food to make each dish! Thankfully I was successful today. 

Literally I take it one day at a time in my house! Every aspect is exhausting, from the routine, managing things alone, knowing who is missing from my life, and seeing my parents declining. Overall, it is a very depressing existence and it takes a lot of inner strength to get up and face yet another day.