Tonight's picture was taken in February of 2003. Mattie was ten months old and that day we purchased this walker for him. Though walkers weren't encouraged by pediatricians, we ultimately got one because Mattie was desperate to be on his feet and walk. As soon as Mattie was lifted into "tot wheels," look at his face.... it said it all! Sheer joy and happiness to move and have independence!!!
Quote of the day: For me, it’s not necessarily interesting to play a strong, fearless woman. It’s interesting to play a woman who is terrified and then overcomes that fear. It’s about the journey. Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s overcoming it. ~ Natalie Dormer
It was another early morning in my house today, as both my mom and I had doctor appointments. Of course before that could happen, I had to get my dad to his memory care center. Thankfully my mom's appointment went smoothly and then I saw my own doctor regarding my sinus infection that I have been struggling with since January.
Thankfully I no longer have an infection, but here is what I learned today. My doctor feels like I was struggling with three things simultaneously. A sinus infection, norovirus, and a reaction to inhaling chemicals. What chemicals? Well you may recall that my dad had Norovirus. It was such an intense illness, that it landed up soiling their bed, box spring, and the floor! It took me a week (while my dad was hospitalized) to clean these items and air out the room. Though I had a fan going constantly for a week, I clearly inhaled a ton of white vinegar and Clorox. It never dawned on me that I burned my nasal passages.
Ironically when the doctor asked me if I inhaled chemicals or was around chemicals, my natural reaction was NO! But then we started to dissect my routine. That is when it hit me...... yes I was around constant cleaning chemicals for a week! As it wasn't a one day cleaning process, I used these items daily, sometimes multiple times in a day to get things clean. I have now learned my lesson, that I have to be careful, as I am still paying the price. My ability to smell has been greatly affected and the doctor feels that in time, my sense of smell will return and that this phantom burning cigarette smell that I constantly face will dissipate.
While I was at the doctor today, one of my friends wrote to me and she calls me a "lightning bolt." She said, "how on earth you manage to run everything that the Foundation incorporates and care for not just one but two parents, and let's not even talk about the house, laundry, gardens, getting things fixed and all the trillion other jobs you do is beyond me." As I told her.... it is beyond me too! Yet here I am. It points to tonight's quote, as I do live in constant fear or of being overwhelmed, yet hiding from these feelings serves no purpose. They are real, and so many of us face these feelings for one reason or the other, and I think it is important to call them out, because I believe there is strength is highlighting the reality as well as exploring the journey to overcome the reality.
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