Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2003. Mattie was one! I loved this photo so much that I printed it out and it was framed and attached to our refrigerator in Washington, DC. As Mattie grew and then was able to walk independently, he LOVED looking at this photo! He was amazed that he was so small then and had to hold onto furniture to stand up! To me this photo was priceless and as Mattie continued to grow, I would snap photos by this coffee table, so he could see his progress!!!
Quote of the day: Strong people don't put others down... They lift them up. ~ Michael P. Watson
If I had to list ALL that I have had to learn since I got separated, you may not believe it! I went from a woman who wasn't responsible or knowledgeable about finances or managing things in the household, to a person who does it all. I don't claim to be brilliant, but I most definitely am defined by persistence, commitment, and perseverance. If I did not have these characteristics, there is no way I could have written a dissertation and have obtained a PhD.
Last week, I began the painful process of learning how to take over my mortgage for the house. For the last year and a half, I left my other half on the mortgage because I truly was OVERWHELMED financially, emotionally, and physically. NOT that I am in any better shape now, but legally I have to remove him from my mortgage. So who is going to help me? I have learned the answer to this question since 2023 has been.... me, myself, and I! The only one responsible for me, my future, and destiny is me. I can't consult with my parents (as they are not cognitively able to help me) and certainly I no longer have my other half, who I relied on for everything.
So I therefore contacted my lending company. When I spoke to the agent last week, and you will love this, his name is Jesus (fitting no?--- as I need lots of miracles), he gave me several assignments over the weekend to pull documents and information together. I then made the decision to continue working with Jesus and arranged for a call today to start the application process. Why hadn't I done this process before now? After all, I have been divorced since October 31, 2024. The simple answer is I just couldn't mentally take this on. But the second and very important reason is the cost. Even though I am assuming the mortgage of my own home (of which I have always been on the mortgage), the state and county closing fees are insane. I am not exaggerating, when I say insane, I mean INSANE! In addition, the lender requires me to pay the closing costs in full at the time of closing. Any one who thinks there are any benefits to divorce, should speak to me! There are NONE (keep in mind I am speaking for myself, I can imagine there are MANY valid reasons for people getting a divorce).
Besides divorce being an emotional nightmare wrapped into a self identity catastrophe, there is also a big financial toll. Starting with legal fees and the list goes on. I literally feel like I have had to face just about everything in this process, in that I could now advise other women. But at the end of the day, what gets me the most is that my beautiful marriage has ended in ridiculously expensive transactions. Any case, Jesus was a blessing today. We were on the phone together for two hours and he walked me through the 90 day process. All I can say is GOD HELP ME over these next couple of months!
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