Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2004. Mattie was two years old. That weekend we took him to the National Arboretum. By the entrance they had this wonderful water feature filled with koi. They sell food for the koi, so we thought Mattie would be interested in seeing the fish eat. As you can see, Mattie did not want to feed the fish himself. He left that to me, because he was unsure how to feed the fish or how they would come up out of the water to eat. So though I was not a nature buff, I learned to become one with Mattie! As you can see, Mattie was intrigued by the koi and was watching the whole process closely!
Quote of the day: No matter how bleak or menacing a situation may appear, it does not entirely own us. It can’t take away our freedom to respond, our power to take action. ~ Ryder Carroll
My dad's nurse visited this morning at 10am. She is helping me manage my dad's wound care. We have been managing two pressure sores for months now. It is a vicious cycle in which the pressure sores look like they are healing one day and then the next day they are open again and bleeding. I am working around the clock on wound care and I can't tell you the countless number of foam wound care bandages I have bought in two months. Medicare only provides a VERY limited number..... try a box of 10 bandages, which they expect will last me ten days. I can go through a box of 10 in a day and a half. Mainly because where the wounds are located, the bandages get messed up and pull away from the skin multiple times during the day.
After that appointment, I dropped my dad off at his memory care program, and went grocery shopping. While checking out, my favorite store employee was there and I said hello to her. Frankly given her reaction, I assume most people don't greet her or chat with her. I do every week! I know about her mom and dad, and I always do a check in on how they are feeling. Today, before I left, she told me she had the weekend off and was going to try to have a more relaxing two days, away from people! I think when you work in the service industry, of any kind, you absorb other people's stresses, demands, and even not such nice behavior. I heard her and I said to her.... I appreciate you, you do an excellent job here, and I look forward to seeing you each week. All I can say is you would have thought she won the lottery. She was so thankful for what I said.
As I was driving home, my mind was swirling with all sorts of emotions. When I am in the are alone (the only place I can be alone .... when running chores), the feelings of my many losses typically hit me. I am at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green, and my eyes were filled with tears. I happened to look over to the car next to me, and there was a man, staring right back at me. At the same time, we smiled at each other. It was the smile that flipped an emotional switch in me, from tears, to once again, experiencing the kindness of another human being.
I then visited our local bank today. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my bank. I know the managers and all the tellers. Literally I walk in and I am greeted with.... hello Victoria! One of the tellers cares for her mom, who is in her eighties. I have been following her mom's saga with knee surgery and her recovery for months. But in our conversation today, the concept of kindness and humanity came up. The topic of losing our humanity came up! My problem is I always look for the good in people. I can make excuses for bad behavior and try to understand each person's plight in life. But what I notice (for the most part) is when you act human.... listen, show kindness, compassion, and understanding.... people usually can rise to the occasion and reflect these beautiful traits right back.
All these interactions today, inspired me to get the courage to come home, focus, and process through mortgage assumption paperwork. Ironically, the two people I could always count on in my life to give sound advice are no longer able to help me. Therefore, even doing mortgage paperwork reminds me of my many, many losses.
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