Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 -- Mattie died 100 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. That summer I had gone to a conference in New Orleans and brought back a Mardi Gras mask and fan for Mattie. Mattie did not waste any time with this gift. He immediately put on the mask and wore it around the house. I thought he looked adorable in it and I am so glad I captured that moment. In fact, I captured many photo moments with Mattie. Naturally the explanation could be that he was my first and only child, but regardless, to me these photos are priceless. They hold a visual of our memories and they remind me of our times together. Times that were too short and fleeting.

Quote of the day: Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time.
Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care. Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give. Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me. I need to hear them. ~ Margaret Brownley

The Sapphire Princess docked at Ketchikan, Alaska this morning at 6:30am. As we were coming into port, Peter snapped some wonderful pictures of our journey.

We were on shore by 7:15am and began our tour of the city, attended an amazing lumberjack show, and toured Totem Bight Park. Ketchikan received its name from the Tlingit people, who originally settled this area as a summer fishing camp. The Tlingit name for Ketchikan Creek was recorded in 1881. One translation of the word extends into “spread wings of a prostrate eagle” because the course of the creek when viewed from above resembled the outspread wings of an eagle. Another version says the real name was Katskan or land belonging to Kats, an early Tlingit chief.

By the late 19th century, the discovery of gold and copper created a need for a mining supply center. Gold was discovered in the nearby hills and copper was discovered a short time later. Ketchikan quickly became the supply center for all the mines in the surrounding area. Ketchikan’s economy is dependent on tourism, commercial fishing activity and marine and retail services. Today it is a popular tourist destination. It is known as “The First City” because it is the first stop for ships heading north along the famed inside passage.

It was a glorious weather day in Ketchikan, the SUN was out and by midday it was in the high 60s. Our tour guide told us that seeing the SUN is VERY rare, even in the summer. Make a note that Ketchikan gets an average of about 14 FEET a year of rain! OH MY GOD! I need the sun, however I learned that people in Ketchikan need the rain. They love the rain, and we were told people get edgy when it doesn’t rain in a few days. Want to know why? Because Ketchikan has no municipal water supply and the only source of water is RAIN. Every house has a cistern to catch rain. To me this gives rain a whole new meaning. Rain is a necessity for life here. From my East coast perspective, I would say living in Ketchikan is downright challenging at best. It may be tolerable May through September, but after that point, the amount of sunlight decreases each day and the weather becomes cold. Ketchikan’s number one industry is tourism, with 36 cruise ships visiting EACH DAY during the summer! During the winter months the whole area goes into hibernation. Ketchikan is an island and the only way onto it is by ship or plane. Our tour guide told us that Alaska Airlines is the ONLY airline that flies into Ketchikan and the cost of an hour and a half flight from Ketchikan to Seattle is over $600. Being an island, the cost of living for residents is very high. Our tour guide bought 3 bundles of asparagus in the grocery store last week and she spent $23 on that alone and a package of ground beef was over $9. In a way it leaves you speechless! Keep in mind that our tour guide is a special education teacher during the year and in the summer months she is a tour guide. She says she can’t live in Ketchikan on her $36,000 a year school job.

The first stop on our tour today was to a lumberjack show. Peter was familiar with this sport, since he has seen these lumberjack athletes perform on ESPN. Honestly I did not know what to expect, but after watching this entertaining and yet amazing show for an hour, I can clearly see the art and skill needed to be a lumberjack. It doesn’t necessarily involve just sheer strength and bulk, it requires ability and agility. The audience at the show was divided into two halves. One half cheered for the American “Spruce Pine Mill” lumberjacks and the other half cheered for the Canadian “Dawson Creek” lumberjacks. These two teams competed with each other doing various lumberjack stunts. The site upon which the show took place was the old Spruce Pine Mill of Ketchikan and the only other large pine mill nearby was in Canada, The Dawson Creek Mill. So history provides some explanation for the names of the competing lumberjack teams.

Our “Dawson Creek” team member, Bryce, throwing an axe at a target! Bryce was an amazing lumberjack and apparently he has achieved an “ironjack” status, a status that only 19 other people have obtained in the world!

Bryce won the pole climbing competition today. He climbed up 55 feet in the air within 30-40 seconds!

Our other team member, Michael, was also amazing. Very agile and light on his feet. During the log rolling competition it almost seemed like he was dancing rather than just picking up his feet.

At the end of the performance, Peter took my picture with the two competing teams.

The next stop on our tour was to Totem Bight Park. At this park, we learned about the rich Native American history on the Island of Ketchikan. In fact, during two weeks of every school year, local Native Americans come into the classrooms and teach curriculum. The Native American history, traditions, and culture are imperative to all that live in Ketchikan, and Native American children and non-Native American children are integrated in the same schools. In addition, in middle school, every Ketchikan child is sent on a three day “survival camp.” Basically that entails a test of survival. Middle school children are given only a sleeping bag and NO other provisions. They must use the skills taught to them by Native Americans in order to live for three days without food, water, or shelter. As I was listening to this, the scary notion crossed my mind that I would never have graduated from middle school if I grew up in Ketchikan.

At this park we learned about Native American Clan Houses. Within each house lived an extended family of about 40 or more people. All these people were related to each other. However, I must emphasize that in this one large roomed house there was NO privacy. There were no closets, instead of walk in closets, they used walk on closets (closets which were found under the floor boards). In each clan house was also totem poles. I learned today that there are six different types of totem poles. Some are for memorial purposes or serve as headstones of a deceased and others can be used as supporting posts within a house for example. Nonetheless regardless of the purpose, the totem pole ALWAYS tells a story. Not in WORDS, but in pictures. Usually pictures of animals. In addition, totem poles always have a human face on them, to indicate the strongest or most dominate part of the structure. Like we read a book from left to right, a totem pole is read from bottom to top! It was fascinating to me how our tour guide who is a non-Native American knew many of the legends and cultural stories of her local tribes. In fact, she was able to translate many of the totem poles we saw and shared the legends and meanings with us. It was like listening to an Aesop fable, filled with meaning and a moral lesson!

Outside the clan house, you can see how colorful the exterior is. In fact, the exterior of a clan house could always be seen from the water. The pictures on the outside of the house helped to identify the tribe and family member of its owner. This particular clan house belonged to the Raven family, and those who passed the house by canoe could determine if they would be welcome at such a house or not.

Totem poles are made out of one large cedar tree trunk. Some are 50 feet tall! Each piece of the tree is intricately carved and only three colors are typically seen on a pole: blue, red, and black. In addition, to get a wooden copy of a totem pole here in Ketchikan, it costs anywhere between $1000 to $3000 per foot. So it is very expensive, and it takes years of training to be considered a master carver.

I wanted to share this picture of me with a totem pole to show you the amazing size difference.

I would like to end tonight’s posting with two messages. The first message is from Mattie’s oncologist and our friend, Kristen. Kristen writes to us each Tuesday in honor of Mattie’s passing. Kristen wrote, “Just wanted to send a note to you all the way to Alaska! Thinking of you this Tuesday and every day.”

The second message is from my friend and colleague, Nancy. Nancy wrote, “As I looked at the pictures of Seattle, I was reminded of my stay during the AMHCA conference and our visit to the Space Needle. Being so high up from the ground helped me to bridge ‘heaven from earth’ and appreciate all the wonders that life has to offer. I know that Mattie’s death has made recent sightings bittersweet, although, each sighting and reference keeps him in each of our thoughts. Although out of context, I wanted to remind you, as Karen did, that even though the staff has changed at the hospital, Mattie’s presence and experience is still there. You are living proof and I get that what you miss most was the connection that you felt with all of the staff and how they kept you afloat during those turbulent times. I guess this is what ‘time marches on’ is referring to. The picture of Charlotte and Mattie was precious and so telling about Charlotte. She is another wise and old soul! Maybe that is why she and Mattie were so close. To see a child their age be able to understand and be fully present with Mattie was exceptional. Peter’s picture of Mattie was so genuine. What each of us knows about grief is that one doesn’t need an actual picture of a loved one to carry with them after they have died, so this one of Mattie is reminiscent of his going along on the trip. In some way I see it as a way for Mattie to visualize all of the experiences for himself.”