Tuesday, February 28, 2012 -- Mattie died 129 weeks ago today. Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Mattie was three months old and NOT in his most comfortable place or position. Mattie really disliked being on his back, almost as much as tummy time. In order to engage Mattie on the floor, Peter or I would get on the mat with him and try to engage and stimulate him. When I look at this photo today, I am truly not sure what Mattie was focusing his attention on, the toy bug or Peter.
Quote of the day: Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly. ~ Robert Schuller
Today seemed like a long and endless day. I began the day by calling to set up an appointment to talk by phone with the doctor scheduled to do my biopsy on Friday. As my readers know, I am very leery about this procedure, especially since I have been cautioned by other doctors not to do it. In the midst of this, I had several other dialogues today with doctors. My college friend, who was also a groomsman at our wedding, is an avid blog reader and anesthesiologist in Washington State. Dave contacted me today and offered his help. Dave has helped me many a time as it has related to sedation and anesthesiology. So I have Dave on the West coast checking in, and I had Kristen, Mattie's oncologist and our friend, who now lives in Tennessee consulting with me. Though Kristen is working full time, she took time from her schedule today to read research articles about my potential issues. As always her insights were very helpful and I work very well with a doctor like Kristen because she engages in an open dialogue, based on fact, research, and clinical judgment with her patients. Maybe it is because Kristen and I went through the worst together that she has gained my trust. But I do trust her because when she doesn't know something she admits it, but will get down to the bottom of the problem and find out the answers. So Kristen has been kind enough to have folks at her institution look at my scans as well.
This afternoon, I received a phone call from a doctor in Florida. My friend Tina connected me with this doctor. Last week I mailed my scans to this doctor and she consulted with the chief of her oncology department about my situation. She too advised me not to do the biopsy on Friday. This evening, I spoke with the doctor in Maryland who wants to do the biopsy and we decided to postpone it for now. But that option isn't off the table. I will continue with the MRI I have planned for next week. But all of this has left me tired and with my head spinning this evening.
I did go to zumba class today. I am happy I did, because it makes me feel better. I wish I could do it everyday. Then in the afternoon, I had my second acupuncture appointment. This one was a bit more painful, but I would like to do it for two months and see what changes I feel. I figure it took me a decade to build up some of these issues, therefore it will take time to heal them as well.
My excitement for the day was that I connected through email to an 80 year old woman named Dr. Jimmie Holland. Jimmie is a psychiatrist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, but she is considered the mother of psycho-oncology. I introduced myself and the Foundation to Jimmie, and to my amazement Jimmie plans on coming to our Symposium and we also discussed other ways the Foundation can get involved in more professional psycho-oncology conferences. Do not be taken aback by Jimmie's age. It is only a number! People who know her say she is as sharp as a tack and has more energy than a person my age. So as tonight's quote aptly points out, it is better to try something than nothing, and today was the kind of day when my something lead to a wonderful surprise.
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