Monday, July 23, 2012

Monday, July 23, 2012

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2008, two days after Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. On July 23, 2008, our world was immediately altered and not for the better. We were in a daze, very stressed out and anxious. Mattie requested that we have Christmas in July that week. So out came our outside Christmas lights and decorations and we placed them all over our deck. Peter snapped a picture of Mattie and I together, and frankly I remember this moment in time like it were yesterday, and NOT four years ago.


Quote of the day: It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. ~ Rose Kennedy

I relate to Rose Kennedy's sentiments quite well. Four years have gone by since Mattie was diagnosed with cancer, and yet the pain of this day will never be gone from our reality or hearts. Not that anything can be said to make this day better for us, but when others do acknowledge it, it makes me feel like Mattie is remembered and in essence we are cared about. My friend Mary's birthday is today, and yet Mary is very aware of what this date holds for Peter and I. Mary's daughters attended a nature camp today, and when she picked her girls up from camp she snapped a picture of Abby and Emily for me. Mary wanted me to know that her whole family was thinking of Mattie today, so much so that the girls wore their Mattie Miracle t-shirts to the first day of camp. These shirts were purposefully picked to acknowledge the day. To me this was a special gift, a gift of remembrance. It is certainly very meaningful to me when those who I know remember Mattie and address his loss with me. However, the beauty of this picture is that the next generation is also making a visual statement about the life of Mattie. Needless to say Mary's picture meant a great deal to me today. 

Peter and I took a walk by the Potomac River today. It was incredibly humid and a three mile walk in this heat was a feat. Yet one of the sightings on our journey was that of the Matthew Hayes. The Matthew Hayes is a sight seeing boat which we took Mattie on, and when I see it, I always remember that particular day. It was a Friday afternoon in the spring, in which I picked Mattie up from kindergarten and then all three of us met up to go on a spur of the moment tour. It was a tour Mattie loved, especially since Mattie loved boats. If you asked Mattie what he was saving the money in his piggy bank for, he would tell you to buy a boat. Not a toy boat mind you, but a real boat one day.

 

When Mattie was a baby and toddler, I would walk with him by the Potomac River quite often. So I know exactly where the ducks like to hang out. Today we stopped to feed the ducks at one of Mattie's stomping grounds. Just like when I was with Mattie, these ducks were thrilled to see us today, and began lining up at the dock as we approached.