Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2007. We have very few photos with all three of us in them. This was perhaps one of the few Christmas photos we have as a threesome. Which is why I suppose it is so special to me.
Quote of the day: Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~ Confucius
On behalf of Peter and I, we want to thank you for your wonderful contributions in support of Mattie Miracle over the course of this month (during our annual drive)! We can't think of a better holiday gift you could have given us. All that we accomplish would not be possible without you! A sincere thank you and we wish you all the best of health and happiness in 2014!
I began my day with an email from a person I do not know. The message read:
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I recently learned about a very safe and effective treatment for cancer, especially childhood cancer, that might have saved Mattie's life if only you had known about it. I want to do whatever I can to make it known and available to cancer patients throughout America, and I am looking for groups like yours to help in that fight. I am willing to have a set of 2 DVD's all about this treatment sent to someone who is sincerely interested in it, if you will just tell me who to send it to.
This treatment was discovered several years ago, has none of the side effects of chemo and radiation, and has been proven effective in stage 3 clinical trials. It would completely revolutionize cancer treatment as we know it today, and therein lies the problem. The big drug companies could not make a profit on it, and the entire system based on chemotherapy and radiation would collapse. The drug companies have convinced the FDA not to make it available in this country. I believe that keeping this treatment from those who so desperately need it is criminal, and I am looking for people who are willing to take on what will be a major battle against big PhRMA and the FDA. Will you help?
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I am sure while reading the message above, you may have different feelings about it from FANTASTIC send me the DVDs to ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! Unfortunately my response was the latter. She particularly LOST me when she made it personal and said that I might have been able to save Mattie if I knew about this treatment!!!! What a lovely New Year's Eve gift to receive. A message from a stranger letting me know that I possibly did not do all that I could to save my child. I really question the integrity of this message.
In any case, Mattie Miracle gets many solicitations and inquiries from professionals, individuals, and hospitals throughout the year. The key is to know which ones are sincere and legitimate. Naturally ALL of us want a cure for childhood cancer but the message above is NOT such hope. Instead it is falsehood that could possibly cause parents to decide not to use standard treatments to fight a horrific disease.
Needless to say the medical treatment of cancer interests me and in all reality it must interest any one whose life has been touched by cancer. Yet at the end of the day, this is not where my passion lies. Instead it lies with direct emotional and psychological support of children and their families with cancer. The day to day management and life time management of the disease. I wish there were magic beans out there that would cure our children so that no family has to experience the death of a child to cancer, but no such thing exists and I resent those who prey on the desperation of others.
This evening, I asked Peter if he remembered our first New Year's Eve with Mattie. That would be December 31, 2002. Mattie was eight months old. We had put Mattie down for bed earlier in the evening with the hopes that he would sleep through part of the night. However, about ten minutes to midnight, Mattie started crying and wanted out of his crib. None of this surprised us since Mattie did not sleep through the night until he was 15 months old. That was only because we read about the Ferber method and trained him to sleep! Any case, that New Year's Eve I brought Mattie downstairs and he sat with us while watching the ball drop in Times Square. We took that as a direct sign that Mattie wanted to ring in the New Year as a family.
Since Mattie died, Peter nor I have the desire to watch the ball drop or anything associated with Times Square. In so many ways time marches on, but for us transitioning from one year to another truly has no meaning to us. Because each day is a day without Mattie, I no longer track it by years. I remember New Year's Eve of 2009. I was actually scared to move into 2010, a new year without Mattie's presence in it. As I watch my friend in cancer go through this now, it is ironic that she feels the same way I did in 2009. Even without us talking about it. I remember that fear that first year, but now the fears are different.
This is a photo of one the star lined streets in my parent's neighborhood. There is something quite magical about seeing stars in every front yard!
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