Saturday, February 14, 2015

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Tonight's picture was taken on Valentine's Day of 2009. Our last Valentine's with Mattie! That day Mattie banned me from the Child Life playroom, while he worked with his art therapists to create all sorts of Valentine's day surprises for me. Everything from cards, to a cardboard box filled with paper creations, to this lovely heart crown. When I was brought into the room to be given all these surprises, Mattie's art therapist, Jenny, snapped this photo of Mattie and I together. This happens to be one of my favorite photos of us together! Jenny captured a signature Mattie move.... which was when he touched his nose to mine and stared into my eyes! 


Quote of the day: Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. ~ Thomas Merton


Despite it being Valentine's Day, Peter and I worked the entire day on Foundation things. Not unusual for us on the weekends. However, we weren't planning on working on today's particular project. But several members of our psychosocial team asked us for assistance with the creation of a document and when they ask us for help, we tend to drop whatever we have going on since they give 110% of themselves to help us. 

My friend in cancer (she too lost an only child) sent me the final version of Mattie's Heart Tag that she created and had on display at a cancer rally that she attended today. It was very lovely to see Mattie represented and remembered at this event, especially on Valentine's day. I told my friend that this was a very meaningful visual gift to receive!

Another visual gift I received today was from my good friend Mary Ann! A Valentine's poem that was written by a mom who also lost a child. 

There are many different types of love. Certainly when we think about how Valentine's Day is marketed to our society we think of ONLY romantic love. But there are many different forms of love that exist such as between a parent and a child, and between friends. Once you give your heart to your child and have invested in raising a child, it is quite devastating when your child is taken away from you (as Annette Baldwin writes about in her poem). Certainly you have the memories and you can remember the love that you shared. But it isn't the same. Sometimes the memories help and can make you happy and yet sometimes the memories do not help at all.... the memories can make you sad and lead you to feel bitter, angry, and wanting to turn against the world for having what you no longer possess. 

Receiving such a poem today from my friend in a way is healing in its own right because it accomplished TWO things. It makes me know that Mattie isn't forgotten and that my feelings are understood! That is more than half the battle as a grieving parent because over the long term you feel as if no one truly understands you anymore. 

Peter captured our brief and fleeting snow shower tonight!

Show showers on our balcony!