Thursday, October 13, 2016

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2005. Mattie was three and a half years old. That year, Mattie and I made his Halloween costume together. Mattie wanted to be a calico cat, like Patches! So we cut out pieces of felt and hot glued them onto a black sweat suit. Mattie did not like anything rough or scratchy, so sweat suit material always was the base of a perfect Mattie costume. In this photo, we were leaving our home and headed to the George Washington University. My students had invited Mattie to a campus wide community Halloween party. Mattie was eager to go! Unfortunately that was where Halloween ended for Mattie that year. Mattie developed an ear infection and sepsis days later and was hospitalized over Halloween. Mattie was upset that he couldn't trick or treat with his costume. But luckily being sweat suit material, we could stretch it and Mattie wore it in 2006! 


Quote of the day: A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~  Steve Maraboli


Today, I went to support a friend who had an important meeting to attend. In the process of visiting with my friend, I met two of her other friends, who were also there for moral support. While waiting for my friend in her meeting, I got to talk and get to know her friends. For about 75 minutes we talked about all sorts of subjects, but then the topic of Mattie and Mattie Miracle came up. I explained to one of the people the challenges of losing a child. She asked how I have been able to go on? What helps? She assumed I was now divorced, but was happy to hear that Peter and I are still married and support each other. But it was her unexpected comment that she later said to me that I have carried throughout the day. 

Though Mattie's cancer battle and death were and are horrendous, I did get to experience the beauty of our support network. People who rose to the occasion for over a year, supporting our every need. I mean every need.... lunch, dinner, toys, gifts, you name it, they delivered on it EVERY DAY for 14 months. I explained to these two individuals today that so many of these Team Mattie supporters are now my best volunteers for the Foundation. They are still a part of our lives and I commented they are special people. It is rare for find such committed and compassionate people. Now here is what caught me by surprise. My friend's friend said..... somehow I think the reason they are so committed is because of you! You, being me! What she was saying is that she deems me the kind of person who is very kind, generous, and giving with others and therefore, the reason I receive this is because I always hold myself accountable to do this level of kindness for others. It was actually one of the nicest compliments I have received in a long time, and from someone who really doesn't know me. 

I think one of the most important things never to lose sight of in life, is that we live in a world with other people. Though we may be hurt, angry, and have had unexpected things happen to us, we can't shut others out. What I mean by that is when dealing with our own issues, we can become self absorbed and focused on ourselves. The needs of others can get filtered out and at times ignored. Yet what I have found is opening one's self up to listening, hearing others, and trying to help, results in making us stronger and in the end more likely to handle and manage our own crises. I will never underestimate the medicinal power of helping others. This process of doing and affecting the lives of others in a positive way are powerful change agents not only for others but for ourselves.