A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



August 10, 2017

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Thursday, August 10, 2017

 Tonight's picture was taken on October 1, 2008. We were visiting Memorial Sloan Kettering to consult with a surgeon about Mattie's cancer. I will NEVER EVER forget this day. This surgeon had us waiting for two hours to see him. Then when he did grace us with his presence, we were told he could only spend FIVE minutes with us, because he had a reception across town to attend! If that wasn't bad enough, he entered the examine room, and stared at us for at least one minute. Without saying anything!!! When words finally came out, he was painting a grime picture of Mattie's prognosis.... RIGHT in front of Mattie. I literally stopped him from speaking and told him I was going to take Mattie back to the waiting room to sit with my parents and my lifetime friend Karen. After which he told Peter and I he wouldn't recommend surgery, but instead move to palliative and end of life care. You can imagine what I think of this surgeon. Mind you he is renowned and people come from all over the world to see him at this institution. For the life of me, I have NO IDEA WHY!


 Quote of the day: I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. ~ Georg C. Lichtenberg

On Monday evening, I literally took to bed quite ill with a migraine. I couldn't look at anything, hear anything, and forget smelling or thinking about food. Peter came upstairs to give me gingerale and with that, look who joined me.... both Sunny and Indie! 

 It somewhat reminds me of my times with "nurse Patches." Which is the name I gave to our calico cat. The only difference was Patches freely came and was intuitive to what was going on with me, while Sunny and Indie needed direction from Peter.

I literally plan Sunny into my days. Days that I have a lot to accomplish, I have to make sure I figure out his walk schedule. This afternoon, I came back from grocery shopping and headed upstairs to the bathroom. You can see that Sunny parked himself right outside my door. Why? Because he is herding me to go outside! Literally I can walk up and down the stairs multiple times until I am ready to go outside for a walk. You would think Sunny would then just wait for me by the front door! But no!!! Sunny instead follows me up and down the stairs, until I am herded right out the door! 
Posted by The Brown Family (DC) at 8:06 PM

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