Tonight's picture was taken on Halloween of 2007. Mattie was five and half years old and this was Mattie's first year not in a sweat suit type costume. In fact, Mattie said he wanted to be an Air Force Pilot for Halloween. So it was the first year, we went to the costume store together, looking high and low for a costume. The costume you see here, was a Naval pilot uniform. So when I got home, I contacted my friend who is a retired Lt. Colonel in the Air Force. She and her colleagues sent us many Air Force patches, which I hot glued onto the costume. Mattie was thrilled!
Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.
- number of people diagnosed with the virus: 9,270,711
- number of people who died from the virus: 231,353
I had the opportunity to tune into a lunchtime webinar today entitled, Beyond Fairytale Endings: Bibliotherapy and Creative Interventions in Palliative Care. One of the presenters is our friend and the researcher we have worked closest with to develop the Psychosocial Standards of Care for Children with Cancer.
The webinar focused on the role of bibliotherapy to support children who are dying. When dealing with personal issues such as anxiety and depression or coping with grief, sometimes it can be difficult to make sense of what is happening in your mind and body, especially if you don’t have any other experience to compare it to. Bibliotherapy aims to bridge this gap by using literature to help you improve your life by providing information, support, and guidance in the form of reading activities via books and stories.
The presenters told us that they wrote their own children's book called the Gift of Gerbert's Feathers. Why did they write such a book? Because after extensive research in the children's literature world, they only found 5 books in total that were geared to a child who is dying. The majority of books on grief and loss for children focus on the loss of grandparents or a pet.
The notion of a child dying is hard to grapple with. In fact, though families need great support during this time, this is typically when the treatment team begins to distance themselves from you. It becomes near impossible to accept that your child is dying, much less have a conversation with your child about the process. This is something that I still reflect upon with Mattie. He died, and I don't know his wishes. I have no idea how he wanted to be remembered. Mattie was 7! I don't know how a parent has such a conversation with a 7 year old, but the webinar did introduce me to some wonderful books for my toolkit. I share them below in case you are interested.
A video introduction with activities, to The Gift of Gerbert's Feathers:
Children's Books on Loss....................................
- The Heart in the Bottle: There is a wonder and magic to childhood. We don’t realize it at the time, of course . . . yet the adults in our lives do. They encourage us to see things in the stars, to find joy in colors and laughter as we play. But what happens when that special someone who encourages such wonder and magic is no longer around? We can hide, we can place our heart in a bottle and grow up . . . or we can find another special someone who understands the magic. And we can encourage them to see things in the stars, find joy among colors and laughter as they play.
- The Invisible String: The perfect tool for coping with all kinds of separation anxiety, loss, and grief. In this relatable and reassuring contemporary classic, a mother tells her two children that they're all connected by an invisible string. "That's impossible!" the children insist, but still they want to know more: "What kind of string?" The answer is the simple truth that binds us all: An Invisible String made of love. Even though you can't see it with your eyes, you can feel it deep in your heart, and know that you are always connected to the ones you love. Does everybody have an Invisible String? How far does it reach? Does it ever go away? This heartwarming picture book for all ages explores questions about the intangible yet unbreakable connections between us, and opens up deeper conversations about love.
- Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs: Tommy is four years old, and he loves visiting the home of his grandmother, Nana Downstairs, and his great-grandmother, Nana Upstairs. But one day Tommy's mother tells him Nana Upstairs won't be there anymore, and Tommy must struggle with saying good-bye to someone he loves.
- Dream Tree: Patti Caterpillar resolves to tell her caterpillar friends what it is like to be a beautiful butterfly when she becomes one herself.
- Lifetimes: Lifetimes is a moving book for children of all ages, even parents too. It lets us explain life and death in a sensitive, caring, beautiful way. Lifetimes tells us about beginnings. And about endings. And about living in between. With large, wonderful illustrations, it tells about plants. About animals. About people. It tells that dying is as much a part of living as being born. It helps us to remember. It helps us to understand.
- Water Bugs & Dragonflies: How can we answer the many questions young children have about death? Doris Stickney and her minister husband were looking for a meaningful way to explain to neighborhood children the death of a five-year-old friend -- an explanation that would satisfy not only the children but adult minds as well. While they were preparing for the child's memorial service, the fable of the water bug that changed into a dragonfly came to mind.
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