Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2003. Mattie was a year and half old and FULLY ON! Taking him to Los Angeles was never easy, because Mattie did not adjust to the time change easily. Instead, he would wake up at 4am each day, and it took him about 4 days to adjust to California being three hours behind Washington, DC. As you can see, Mattie was intrigued by sinks and water and I practically had to hold him back in order for Peter to snap this photo!
Quote of the day: They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Carl W. Buechner.
Well I would say today wasn't my finest hour. I woke up early as usual, got myself showered and dressed, made breakfast and vacuumed part of the house. I then got my dad up, washed, dressed and downstairs for breakfast. What you may not know is I balance three things for my dad each day to help him orient his day. One is a calendar, the second is a white board with the day's schedule and word of the day, and the third is his journal. The journal is designed for him to answer the same questions each day, and the goal is for him to fill it out so he can turn to it when he has questions or can't recall something. In theory all these tools are great! That is if he actually used them.
The one doing all the work is me and what sent me over the edge today was my dad's lack of interest in just about everything. He isn't motivated to do anything that involves using his brain or moving his body. If I left him in his chair all day to sleep, that would make him the happiest. After helping him complete today's journal for morning activities, we then asked him a question, which required him to go back to the month of August. He couldn't do it or did not want to do it. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I took the book away from him and I decided not to do any of his daily brain games. As Peter says to me..... he would have stopped all of this months ago, because my dad gets nothing from it. Peter is correct, my dad gets no visual benefit from doing these activities. The reason I continue with them is for structure, a schedule, and something to engage him even if it is for a few minutes.
In addition to all of this, while having breakfast, before any journaling took place, my dad pooped in his pants. A delight at the breakfast table and though I get up in the 6am hour, I rarely get to eat before 10am. I had just sat down to eat, when I had to jump up again to get my dad to the bathroom to completely clean and change him. Remember I just showered him less than an hour before this point.
I am doing the impossible for both my dad and mom, and my dad shows absolutely no interest to do anything. Which means that I can't do anything either. I am tied to the house, unable to plan anything, get away, or have a moment to myself. One could do a research study as me as the subject, to assess how long it takes before a caregiver completely cracks up!
Later today, a personal trainer came to the house to evaluate my dad. She is a physical therapy assistant by training and the goal is to have her company help to maintain my dad's strengths and abilities. These abilities are what keep him living in our home and not an institution. My dad wasn't thrilled by the notion that he will have a personal trainer, but I have explained to him the importance of these exercises on both his physical and cognitive abilities.
So overall, I would say today was a day I was angry. Angry at my situation, angry about my life, and just plain ANGRY.
No comments:
Post a Comment