Saturday, March 25, 2023

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2007. Mattie was five years old and that March we took him to visit Key West, where his paternal grandparents were vacationing. Mattie was always open to adventure and being outside, exploring nature just resonated with him. This photo makes me laugh. It was Mattie's rendition of him trying to hold up the pier!

Quote of the day: Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity. ~ Coco Chanel

I got up early this morning because I was expecting my dad's physical therapist to work with him. After I got showered, dressed, and started breakfast, she text messaged me that she wasn't coming because there was a gas leak in her home. Totally get it, but at that point I wanted to turn around and go back to bed. But of course I can't! If I stop functioning so does this household. So I pushed through my tiredness and started the morning process with my dad. 

After I served and cleaned up breakfast, started laundry, did my dad's brain games with him and his walking routine, I then decided I was going to finish this required coursework today. I want it off my plate, especially since I need to complete it before next week. I took a photo of my completion circles..... Four courses, 10 continuing education credits and completed in 11 days. Gold star for Vicki!!!

Meanwhile, though Peter is in Boston, he too is busy! When Peter was a teenager, he and his dad built this shed together. Now one of the exterior walls of the shed needed to be re-shingled! 

Peter tackled this project, and you can see his mom is helping too. Peter's mom is the only parent we have now who is fully functioning and independent. Not sure what her secret is, but we want it to rub off on us. 

The new shingles in process! Peter will paint this shed in May when he goes back up to Boston. A part of me wants to know what it is like to leave my dysfunction for a couple of days. I am glad Peter gets away, visits his parents, and I imagine for him it is freeing to be away and if I were him, it would be hard to return to our home. 

I took my parents out around 3pm today for a late brunch. I have to say it was the most chaotic experience I have had in a long time. My dad was in a fog, very remote, and at the same time highly demanding. It was like eating with a child, except this child is 87 years old. My dad needs constant assistance with tissues, things on the table, cutting food, managing his eating pace, and of course trips to the bathroom. He has no insight about anything or anyone else around him. Gone are the days of a peaceful meal, I am either eating too quickly or just giving up with the whole process. 

Today, my dad wanted to order a pork chop. Against my better judgment, I went with his request. The pork chop came, he took one bite and said he was FULL. Instead, he said the pork chop was for Sunny. I was very frustrated on many levels, because once my dad says he is full, he is ready for the meal to be over with, for all of us. But of course my mom and I just started eating. It gets to the point that I am so exasperated that I can't even speak. So I was silent for a while. When I am silent, watch out. I am much better angry and screaming than holding it all in. I did mentally regroup, but some days it is just very hard to cope. Because guess what? Tomorrow will be exactly the same.