Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. Mattie was two years old and that day we were playing with Mr. Potato Head. As you can see, Mattie got a hold of the toy's glasses and decided to put them on himself rather than on Mr. Potato Head. Life with Mattie was never boring and I most likely captured this moment in time to illustrate my feelings about him.
Quote of the day: If we are asking for the world to be kind, we must first ask what are we doing to add more kindness to the world. If we are asking for the world to be more loving, we must first ask what are we doing to add more love to the world. We are the vessels for the things we seek. ~ Joél Leon
Tonight's quote is quite poignant. If we want to receive kindness, we also have to be able to give it. This morning was a poor example of my ability to give kindness. I will explain it in a nutshell. I went about my usual routine and then got my dad up and in the shower. While cleaning up his bathroom, I could tell by the sound of the shower water, that my dad was doing something out of the ordinary! When you care for someone daily, you get to know every move and sound. In any case, I asked my dad what he was doing in the shower. At which point, he told me he had to poop! My life has turned into being fixated on poop or cleaning it up! In any case, I now keep a big hospital basin in the shower, because instead of him going all over the place, it is a lot easier for me to contain the mess and clean up the basin. It is unfortunate that my dad can't move quickly, so there would be no way I could safely get him out of the shower to use the toilet. So I grabbed the basin and caught an extremely large bowel movement. I have learned the hard way how to manage this process, because if I don't he goes everywhere and then spreads it all over the shower.
Needless to say, I had a full morning by the time I brought my dad downstairs to have breakfast. Just as I got him settled at the table, and I was able to sit down to have my own breakfast, my cell phone rang. I could see it was my endocrinologist's office, most likely to discuss my access to the bone density medication that I take twice a year. It was my doctor's nurse on the phone, who is an officious individual on a good day. But this morning, my patience was lacking. Any case, she started in with me about my health insurance and the fact that I could NO longer get this shot administered at the doctor's office. That my health insurer requires me to go to an infusion center. Truly I LOST it! I basically told her I am caring for two 88 year olds around the clock, and I can hardly find time for my own care. So there is no way I am going to an infusion center. I told her she had to figure this out and that her job is to advocate for her patients and to make the process easier for us, not more complicated. I am quite certain she did not know what hit her, but I am tired of fighting the system every step of the way. I do it daily for two people, I would hope that someone could just do their job and also have some compassion for the complex lives patients face.
This afternoon, after taking my mom to her physical therapy appointment, we did some chores. Before heading home, I took my mom for tea and a snack. When we walked into our local Starbucks, it was packed. There weren't any tables and chairs available. But there was a woman, who is a writer, and a frequent flyer at our Starbucks, who noticed us and popped up. She literally gave up her table and chairs and she went to sit at the high top table with a chair that had no back. She has observed us enough at Starbucks to know that my mom needs to sit in a certain chair. I thought her offer was so kind and thoughtful that I went up to her and told her I wanted to buy her a snack. She wouldn't accept anything! But she said that she was a caregiver to her mother and understands how challenging the role is! When I told her that I also care for my dad at the same time, she couldn't get over it! She said someone should be treating me! Any case, after experiencing this stranger's act of kindness, I felt badly about how I treated my doctor's nurse! I chalk it up to her catching me at the wrong time this morning, but when she eventually calls me back, I will find a way to thank her for working hard to get me access to the medication that I need.
No comments:
Post a Comment