A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



April 29, 2025

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Tuesday, April 29, 2025 -- Mattie died 792 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2004. Mattie was two years old and that day I took him to the Reston Zoo. Mattie loved that Zoo, because it was small, had wide open spaces, and many hands on activities. Mattie had a natural curiosity and respect for animals and though there were two mallard ducks right near him, Mattie was focused on something else in front of him. What I love about this photo was the fact that the ducks were looking at Mattie and trying to assess his next move!  




Quote of the day: Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin


For the past two years, I have been a part of a research team pursuing the implementation of the Psychosocial Standards of Care. I am honored to be connected to two amazing non-profits: The B+ Foundation and Momcology, and leading psychosocial researchers and clinicians. 

The B+ Foundation is the funder of this innovative implementation research project and Momcology has been instrumental in helping to capture the input and insights of parents of children with cancer. Truly this project illustrates the beauty of effective collaboration and partnerships!

In March, one of the peer-reviewed articles from this study was published. If you are interested in learning more, click on this link.......................

Benchmarks for Psychosocial Staffing in Pediatric Oncology: Implementing the Standards Together—Engaging Parents and Providers in Psychosocial Care (iSTEPPP) Study.

This morning, the research team sent out an email regarding the next publication that is ready to be submitted to a journal. The team was asking for feedback about the paper. Because of the many things I juggle, I am not as available to the team as I would like to be, therefore, I felt that I had to stop what I was doing today, to read the article. Which I did! I read it, provided feedback and sent it along. It was a great feeling that I could absorb myself into something that I am passionate about for two hours and I felt what I accomplished was meaningful. This may sound trite, but truly for me, taking the time to do something other than caregiving isn't easy to do. I have to be very intentional about my choices, because I only have a small window to get things done, because by a certain hour my mom starts pacing around, comes into my office, and wants to go out.  

Later today, I went into the garden and continued planting the things I purchased on Monday. Given today's heat, things needed to get planted and watered, before they died. Things are coming along, but I have more to do tomorrow. The winter was brutal on my plants and it is taking even more work than usual to get this garden started this year. Ironically, I was outside yesterday cutting back bushes and my neighbor's landscaper said hi to me and wanted me to know he thought I was doing a great job! That may sound silly, but he made my day. 

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