Monday, June 9, 2025

Monday, June 9, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2008. Mattie was sitting in between his two closest kindergarten buddies, Charlotte and Campbell. They were like the three musketeers and they always said they were going to go to college together and be roommates. This photo was taken at the end of the year party held at a local park. If parent volunteers were requested, I always volunteered. As I wanted to experience all of Mattie's moments, and thankfully I did, because this was our first and last end of year party we ever attended! A month later, Mattie was diagnosed with cancer. 

Quote of the day: Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three. ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour

This morning Nate came over to finish cleaning my stone patio. Keep in mind that this patio probably hasn't been professionally cleaned in over ten years. This was what the stone looked like.... black! 

This is the finished product! I was going to attempt to do this on my own, and then I realized.... NO WAY! First I don't know what I am doing and second the space is too large. I typically do not show the whole backyard on the blog, but it gives you a feeling for why I fell in love with this house! I LOVED the outside, even before ever walking through the front door! 

I came across this article today, entitled, If you’ve lived through these 8 experiences, you’re more resilient than the average person. Well naturally this article got me at the title! I was curious to hear what qualifies someone to be a resilient person. For the most part, I am not a list person and I also do not care for rah rah speeches or platitudes that make lemonade out of very tart lemons! The 8 experiences the author listed, however, resonated with me. They are:

1. You’ve hit rock bottom—and climbed your way back up
2. You’ve grieved a deep loss
3. You’ve had to reinvent yourself
4. You’ve been misunderstood—and stood your ground anyway
5. You’ve taken care of others while breaking inside
6. You’ve faced rejection—and still kept putting yourself out there
7. You’ve lived with uncertainty and kept moving forward
8. You’ve learned how to let go

I do not think people have to hit rock bottom to evoke change and growth within themselves. I will never be a proponent of this way of thinking, but I can attest to hitting rock bottom. MANY TIMES. I hit it when Mattie died, and I have hit it again when my husband left me. However, the pit of despair is much greater now. As I have suffered two very significant losses, both of which have ramifications on my future. 

Being misunderstood but standing my ground, is very significant for me. If I am passionate about something, or convicted about it, I will NOT back down. I will stand my ground. I value truth, honesty, loyalty, and commitment. If I have experienced a wrong, or witness this happening to someone else, then you want me on your side. I can be very calm and strategic, while I build up my advocacy plan. But do not under estimate my nice exterior, as my moral compass is my foundation and it is well intact. 

My parents relocated us from New York to Los Angeles, when I was in high school. This was a huge adjustment for me. I can't tell you the ridicule and rejection I received at school. I was constantly made fun of, told I looked and sounded like a New Yorker. Now I would laugh over this, but as a teenager, this seemed devastating. I remember it took me a long time to make friends, but even back then, I did NOT transform my core values to fit into my environment. What I learned about standing my ground is that people typically respect my convictions. Having experienced many rejections, what I took away from them, was the feeling. To this day, if I am in a group setting and I see someone sitting BY THEMSELVES, I will always go over to them and include them in whatever group I am in. In fact seeing someone by themselves.... is like a trigger for me.  It takes me right back to being in high school. 

We are a product of our experiences and my current life reads more like a bad TV movie than reality. On any given day, it would be easy to just give up. However, as the author of this article points out..... resilient people don’t always feel brave—sometimes they’re terrified—but they still show up for life anyway.  I couldn't have said it better, for as long as someone needs me, I continue to show up for life anyway.