Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2007. That weekend we went for a walk on Roosevelt Island. A park we visited practically every weekend regardless of the weather. Mattie just loved it and it was a little bit of green paradise minutes from our home in the city. It is hard to believe that less than a year later, Mattie was diagnosed with cancer.
Quote of the day: FEAR has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run. Face Everything And Rise. ~ Zig Ziglar
Happy 16th birthday to Mattie Miracle! It is hard to believe that I have been doing this work for all these years! Longer than I had Mattie in my life. A sobering reality. As I always say........... the Foundation is my second baby, in memory of my first baby!
Two years later, I still haven't gotten used to be doing everything alone. I have weekly and sometimes daily panics. Over the last week, I noticed our front yard lights were out! These outdoor lights drive me 100% batty! I tried everything I could think of to make them work, and then I realized.... it has to be the transformer supplying electricity to the lights. Now I could have waited for Steve (my outdoor guru) who is coming in about a week to deal with sprinklers, to also address the transformer. But once a problem pops into my head, I don't let it go. I was determined to change this transformer myself. I have seen it changed once before, so I knew it wasn't difficult. But doing anything on my own now, produces fear. This morning I overcame that fear. I pulled out the new transformer I had on hand, got out a screwdriver, and went at it! Guess what? I did it and the lights out front are now working. Before I threw away the old transformer, I removed its light sensor. Why? Because I have another transformer whose light sensor no longer works. So when it gets dark out, the transformer no longer automatically turns the lights on. I decided to take the light sensor from the old transformer and install it in the transformer on my driveway! I wanted to see if it would work tonight! Sure enough, I have LIGHT everywhere!
This is my dining room now! When you look at it, you would never know that I had a 3x3 foot hole in it after the bathroom flood. My hope is the bathroom renovation will be completed this week too, as juggling this is practically way too much for me.
2 comments:
Dear Vicki, Happy 16th to Mattie Miracle! You never cease to amaze me. Even through the fear that comes with the unknown, through the physical and mental exhaustion, through the heartbreaks you have endured, you continue to keep Mattie's memory and his love alive so you can share it with all of us. How amazing is that?
I can only imagine how hard it is for you most days, yet, you carry on and manage to gracefully conquer the day, each day. I am sure Mattie is so proud to eternally call you "mom". I admire you greatly and I am always cheering you on and sending you sincere prayers from afar.
I last reached out while I was caring for my dear sister while she was in hospice last year. She has since transcended and went to live in the stars at only 53, and thus we carry on with yet another huge hole in our lives, but with another forever inhabitant in our hearts.
Sending you my best and wishing for good things to happen to you and to your parents, however small they might be, but big enough for you to notice them every day.
Be kind to others, but always be kindest to yourself first.
~Esther
Dear Esther, I am deeply sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your sister. She was taken way too soon and leaves a hole in your heart and life that can never be filled. One thing is for certain, she had a devoted and loving sister who was by her side until the end. May we all have an Esther in our lives, during our time of need! You will never have regrets for your decision to care for your sister. Caregiving is a calling, but I also know what a void it leaves in your life when it is over. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you face this forever loss.
Thank you for continuing to read this blog, for writing to me, and for your kind and thoughtful message of support. It means more to me than you know. Each day is a challenge, in different ways, which is why I am grateful to have wonderful people like yourself cheering me on. In appreciation, Vicki
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