Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2003. Mattie was a year and a half old! Want to know what was going on in this photo? Mattie and I were dancing in the kitchen. I would put on music, pick him up, and we would move around the kitchen together. As you can see...... Mattie LOVED it! What a face, what a cutie, and what a huge loss in my life.
Quote of the day: …the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you. Some people might find that strange. But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person, is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them. ~ Ranata Suzuki
Today's date will always be a part of my life. It is a birthday which I have commemorated for 34 years. Not mine of course. When you get divorced, the divorce process and decree, do not always translate into how you feel. After all there is no how to book on how to remove long term memories and milestones from your mind and heart. So what am I to do on such a day? Some of you maybe reading this and saying.... she has got to be kidding! You should erase November 13, from your mind and move on and have a life. If it was that simple, I would have done that by now.
How I chose to spend the day was by being VERY busy. I got up at 5:15am, because I had to get my morning routine complete before Steve and Ritchie arrived. They both help me maintain all the plants, trees, and vegetation on the property (On an aside, did you know Crape Myrtle trees can get infected? Well they can and all 7 of mine are a mess. They have bark scale --- which is an invasive insect pest that appears as white or gray, waxy spots on the bark and produces sticky honeydew, leading to black sooty mold on the tree and surrounding areas.). As winter is fast approaching, I am concerned about certain tree limbs and had to get my bubbler fountain secured for the winter, and sprinklers turned off. Steve even blew out all my hose lines from the outside, which was a first for me, and truly we are amazed these hose lines did not freeze in previous years. Given I have a lot to learn, I have no problem turning to these guys with questions and help!
What Ritchie and Steve said to me today truly helped me, because when you become single after a long term marriage, you start doubting yourself and the world around you. Both of them said to me that I am a very unique, caring, loving, and thoughtful person. The deem me a special person who deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. I did not tell them the significance of today, but I most certainly appreciated knowing how people perceive me is in the way I try to live my life.
After they left, my dad's physical therapist came for a session. During the session, I had to stop what I was doing to assist him in the bathroom twice. Once the session was over, I ran to the grocery store. While in the car, I realized it wasn't working correctly. The radio wouldn't turn on and the mirror sensors stopped working. Literally I was ready to lose it, as I can't have ONE DAY without some sort of problem, issue, and of course expense! Needless to say the car is going in next week. Not sure what I expect with a car that has 102,000 miles on it, but purchasing a car is not in the equation right now! Truly each day, I wake up wondering what else will happen to me today!
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