Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2006. Mattie was four years old and I know exactly what was happening here! I was trying to get Mattie to pose for a Christmas photo to be featured on our family holiday card. From the moment Mattie was born, that cute face was shared with family and friends during the holidays. I used to have friends who would say to me.... why aren't all three of you on the front of the card? There really was no answer other than Mattie was our world, and therefore it was Mattie and his yearly development that I wanted to feature on our cards. When Mattie was younger, it was a feat to capture a photo of him! As he got older, Mattie understood what I was doing, but that did not mean he loved posing for photos! I know the look you see here very well.... it was the look of.... okay I am complying with your request, but I really do not want to be standing still and doing this! By this point in Mattie's development, it was very visually clear whose son he was.... he was the spitting image of me.
Quote of the day: They said: ‘Write the longest sentence you know.’ I wrote: ‘A life without you.' ~ Cameron Lincoln
This morning, after I dropped my dad off at his memory care center and my mom completed her physical therapy session, I decided to call our local Social Security office. My mom got something in the mail that needed clarification. So I contacted our local office and went through the process answering all the questions and then waited on hold for over 50 minutes. Literally I got a lot accomplished while on hold. Then a representative came live and we started chatting. A lovely woman, but do you know the policy is that they are NOT allowed to talk to you for more than FIVE MINUTES? After five minutes, they have to move onto the next customer. I am not making this up! So I waited over 50 minutes, but couldn't talk for more than 5! If you need more support after the five minutes, you are required to make a face to face appointment. Thankfully she provided me with enough information, so I could connect the dots on the issue. As my mom stated today... how many people can wait 50 minutes in any given day to talk to a live person? I don't know, but I suspect if you need answers, you DO THE WAITING!
Later on in the day, I took my mom out for tea. We go out to the same store every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday when my dad is at his memory care program. I find with trauma and grief, structure and the familiar are crucial. But it gives us time away from the house, time to regroup, to be around other people, and to try to put our hurt and pain on a shelf for an hour or two. While we were having tea, I was watching a man outside in the cold pacing back and forth. He caught my attention. Minutes later he came into the store and sat next to us, eating something he brought into the store. It did not take me long to connect the dots that he was homeless. When my mom got up to go to the restroom, he started talking to me. I don't care who you are.... rich, poor, or homeless, if you talk to me, I will respond to you. Now that I am divorced and juggling so many crises, I feel like I have a much better appreciation for the man who sat next to me. I am fortunate that I have my parents, because my life would have looked very different without them. So when this man started telling me he was homeless and needed help, I paused. Typically I only support non-profits who help vulnerable people like this man, but today, I took money out of my wallet and gave it to him. I told him I would be thinking of him during this Christmas season and that I hoped he would take care of himself.
I can't tell you how appreciative this man was, his eyes lit up, he smiled, and said that my kindness meant a great deal to him. Of course I have no idea what he will do with the money. But truly that doesn't matter, what mattered to me was that he felt like there was someone in the world who had the hope for him that things would get better. This man, his beautiful blue eyes, and his appreciation maybe one of the greatest Christmas gifts I received this season. I have always felt, my entire life, that the best gifts are not received, but instead given to others.
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