Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2006. We took Mattie to the US Botanical Gardens in Washington, DC. This was a winter tradition! There is something magical about walking into these warm gardens when it is freezing outside. We also loved how they decorated for the holidays. The Gardens feature miniature National landmarks made out of plant material. Mattie and I posed in front of the Capitol Building. These were happier times, when I had NO personal experience with childhood cancer, child loss, or divorce.
Quote of the day: I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds — but I think of you always in those intervals. ~ Salvador Plascencia
Yesterday, I brought up a folding table from the basement, and started the assembly line process for the Foundation's mass mailing. I have to say even doing this task brings up memories and reminds me of who is missing. I am doing this important mailing alone and carrying on Mattie's legacy alone. It is a very sobering process and the whole thing plays tricks on my mind, because if I did not have photos (things that are concrete and tangible) it would be very easy to think that my last 35 years were either lived by someone else or never happened. That said, I am determined to keep Mattie's legacy alive and given that I always did the majority of the actual Foundation work, it really isn't that much of a change for me. It is more of an emotional hit and sometimes those losses run very deep.
This afternoon, I took my parents back to the restaurant we had our Thanksgiving meal. If you read Thursday's blog posting, then you know we left the restaurant very upset. Why? Because when I left my parents at the table, so I could move the car to the front of the restaurant, another server came up to my mom and she reports that he said to her that they were taking up space, people were waiting for our table, and they had to move. My mom was very hurt by this comment and given her form of dementia, when she is hurt, she will repeat such issues constantly. Try on the hour, since Thursday. She was so upset, she did not want to return to this restaurant today.
On Thanksgiving, I wrote a formal letter to the general manager of the restaurant. I reported that issue and other problems we had that night. However, today I was determined to confront this server and get down to the bottom of the issue. Which is exactly what I did! Could I have left it alone? Sure, but this is a place we dine at weekly, and therefore, I feel airing issues is much better then leaving them unaddressed. I spoke to one of the managers first, who then called over the server and we all talked together. Here's the bottom line..... the server was mortified that my mom interpreted what he said to her in the way that she did. We all agreed that the restaurant was super busy, filled with many diners, and that there was great pressure on the wait staff. Since I wasn't present for the dialogue he had with my mom, I can't determine where the truth lies. But he did the professional thing and spoke with my mom and apologized that he made her feel hurt and unwelcomed. He handled it well and this once again reminded me that it is very easy to misinterpret messages and conversations we have with others, which is why it is imperative to seek clarity and share feelings. By having this open dialogue, my mom felt better and ultimately that was my bottom line.
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