Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Wednesday, December 24, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in December of 2008. If you look carefully you can see Mattie was in the process of eating a frosted donut! When Mattie was on chemotherapy, there were some foods he absolutely craved. The rest of the time, Mattie hardly ate at all! So if he wanted something.... we made sure we acquired it for him. Friends dropped off all sorts of fun Christmas things for Mattie, including the magnetic Santa attached to his wheelchair and those red Christmas stockings. Though the stockings were meant to be hung, Mattie decided we wanted to wear them instead! That was my last Christmas with Mattie!

Quote of the day: For it is in giving that we receive. ~ St. Francis of Assisi

It is 9:40pm and this is the first time I actually sat down today! I got up at 6:15am and hit the ground running, as my dad had a physical therapy session at 10am and I had a ton to do to prepare for Christmas dinner. On top of everything else I was juggling today, my dad was dealing with constipation all day! Which I assure you is like hell on earth, because with his dementia, he focuses on what is bothering him, and will want to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes! Making it challenging for me to get anything done. 

While on the phone with my dad's cardiology office, my doorbell rang! I wasn't expecting anything, but when I got there, a lovely fellow handed me this amazing gift! Truly look at this tray... there is something for everyone. I received this gift from my friend Cheryl. If you have been following along in this blog, then you know I have never met Cheryl, but at one time we were related by my marriage. Cheryl doesn't live near me, but she got to know me through reading this blog, which she still does daily. That is 17 years of reading about my day and my reflections. That alone is a gift! As I was dealing with a horrible separation and then divorce, Cheryl has become one of the amazing and trustworthy friends in my life who I can turn to in a crisis. From this tray, you can tell Cheryl knows the way to my heart! As I always say.... YOU CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH CHOCOLATE!!!

Tomorrow, I am lucky enough to have a group of friends who I celebrate Christmas with and as such I really wanted to make it a lovely day. In order to host this event the way I want, it requires daily work for a week. Today, I was scheduled to make my coconut layer cake! However, my head and heart were heavy, because while working in the kitchen on a big meal, it was glaringly evident who was missing by my side. Cooking always went more smoothly when my other half was present. I got so swept away in emotions and thoughts that as I was putting the ingredients together, I threw in almond extract instead of coconut extract! I didn't visually see what I did, but fortunately I have a nose like a blood hound. I immediately smelled almonds and it stopped me in my tracks! Thankfully I hadn't mixed the dry and wet ingredients together, so I was able to salvage some of the ingredients and then had to redo the wet ingredients because I did not want to mix the flavors of coconut and almond. The point is, this can easily happen to me whenever I reflect on my marriage. Any case, this is the final product which is now chilling in the refrigerator. 

After baking the cake, I paused and served my parents lunch and then went back at Christmas preparation. I peeled countless carrots for tomorrow and all I will have to do on Christmas is cook everything. There is NO MORE prep to do! Which is important! I was reflecting with my former mother-in-law today about so many things, but one of which is my turkey. I learned how to marinade and cook a turkey from her, because when I got married, I had no idea how to cook a big bird. I modified things over the years, but she gave me my start! Ironically though I grew up with my maternal grandmother and she was a great cook, she wrote no recipes down and she really did not like to be shadowed in the kitchen. So unfortunately many of her recipes died with her! 

This evening, I set the table for tomorrow. I shared photos with my former mother-in-law, and she reflected back that not everyone hosts an event like me! Meaning, she is aware of the time, love, and attention to detail I put into Christmas. This table is a combination of me, my mom, and my grandmother. The poinsettia napkins belonged to my grandmother, the Christmas rose centerpiece belongs to my mom, and the rest is me. Over the course of my marriage, we collected or were given many beautiful things. 

The kitchen is set up for tomorrow. My entire married life, we lived in an apartment and my kitchen was the size of a postage stamp. When we bought this house, I fell in love with the kitchen. Since I like to cook and gather with friends, I had such high hopes for the many special times we would have here. But as I have learned time and time again, life typically doesn't go as planned and nothing in life is guaranteed.  

I am very fortunate to have some truly remarkable friends. Every Christmas, my friend, Carolyn, gives me, my mom, and dad gifts. It is so thoughtful that my friends want to remind me that we are never forgotten. One of the gifts was a box filled with some of my favorite chocolates and this knitted sunflower.... the symbol of Team Mattie! 

As tomorrow is Christmas, I wish all my readers who celebrate this beautiful holiday a wonderful and memorable day. May you always know how grateful I am that you continue to check in on the blog, read about Mattie and me, and help me keep Mattie's legacy alive. That is a bereaved mother's greatest Christmas gift.