Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Mattie was home between hospital admissions and as you can see we were having a busy afternoon building Lego sets. Legos were therapy for us, because while building and creating, we took a mental pause from cancer, treatment, pain, and fear. Literally that year, we constructed every Lego kit in the store. If it made Mattie happy and engaged.... we did it!
Quote of the day: Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…~ C.S. Lewis
This morning after dropping my dad off at his memory care program, I came back home and took my mom to the salon in Washington, DC. The last time we were at the salon was in November. Between my dad's hospitalizations, winter, and my life, I just did not have it in me to go to the city. It has been hard balancing my mom's hair at home, and I was thrilled that we both could get haircuts today and nails done. Keep in mind that I have known the salon owner since I was in my twenties and my manicurist has been doing my nails since 2009, when Mattie died.
Given the years I have been working with these ladies, they have become more like friends. We know each other's stories, hardships, and nightmares. Each time, I meet my manicurist, we pick up from where we left off. It is quite adorable because for years she would tell people when I came into the salon that she was seeing her therapist today. Meaning me. Of course I wasn't her therapist, but what this always said to me was the type of sharing and chats we had, were not typical for her with other customers.
What I do know is that when I enter the salon now, there are people there who truly want me to feel relaxed even if it is for just an hour or two. They are aware of my intense caregiving and the incredible loss of my marriage, not to mention the loss of Mattie. I in no way think that I am the only person in the world who suffers grief and trauma. I am always cognizant that each of us carries our own hurts and experiences and honestly every time I hear a woman share her story with me (whatever that story may be), my conclusion is we truly are amazing. It is incredible the challenges and heartaches we face and the courage and strength we have to navigate these nightmares. I really believe these experiences give us the insights to empathize with others.
What I noticed after Mattie died, was people felt at ease sharing their issues and concerns with me. I am not sure if they thought I would understand and not judge them or the simple fact that I lost what was most precious in life that whatever they told me I could mentally handle! Whatever the reason, despite all that has happened to me, I still appreciate other's sharing their stories with me, because I believe within every story there is something that can be learned and appreciated.
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