A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



March 22, 2026

Sunday, March 22, 2026

Sunday, March 26, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. I will never forget that day as several United Airline employees came to visit the clinic. They brought teddy bears with them and Mattie was excited to meet them and very happy to accept the bear. These visits from outsiders were a hit or miss for Mattie. Sometimes he did not want to hear noise or interact with anyone, but this was a good day and I am so happy I captured that moment in a photo. 





Quote of the day: Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush. ~ Doug Larson


With the official start of spring yesterday, I got a burst of energy to take on some cleaning projects. I did all the bed linens and today, I dusted everything upstairs and thoroughly cleaned the bathrooms. I actually like to clean, it makes me feel productive and seeing things organized and clean makes me feel in better control of my haphazard life. The problem however, is I do not always have time to clean. Not the way I want to. But with a beautiful 80 degree day, I was motivated to take on certain projects. 

Of course with spring upon us, that means that I will need to think about buying annual plants and begin gardening. It is a large under taking for one person, but I find that taking it a little bit at a time is the only way it can work. Last year the gardening associate at Lowe's got so used to seeing me, that she would ask me how my planting was going each week. As always the hardest part is getting started. Once I start something then it is a lot easier to continue the project. Gardening however, was something I always did with my other half. I can't tell you how many gardens we planted over the course of our 35 years together. We even shared this love with Mattie, who also got in the mix. Which is why I used to call Mattie, "Farmer Brown."

For the most part I prefer to do things myself. I am practically forcing myself to do this because I want to be self reliant. I have learned a painful life lesson, as the only one looking out for my best interest is me! However, there are some tasks that I sometimes need help with and last week, when my gardener came over to weed and mulch for the spring, I showed him my deer fencing. A lot of it was coming down in the backyard and I just did not want to take a ladder and deal with it. His crew did it one, two, three and for them it was easy. So I view that as one chore off my long to-do list. 

If you have been following my saga, that you know I LOST photos and documents from the last ten years from my shared drive. Tonight, I decided to Google.... can missing files by retrieved from a shared drive? Of course the answer was yes, but it depends. The first thing recommended to do was to look for a recycling bin in the shared drive. I had never seen a recycling bin on the shared drive before, but I looked for it, and FOUND IT! I then clicked on the years that were missing. I immediately went to 2016, and sure enough, all my files were in the recycling bin, well at least for 2016. Needless to say, I will be spending this week on copying them from the recycling bin and then saving them on the cloud and my external hard drive. I NEVER want to have this happen again!

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