Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken on July 15, 2007. I can tell what date it was from the two wine goblets on the table. One was blue and one was burgundy. They belonged to my paternal grandparents, who were also married on July 15. So we shared a wedding anniversary. When my grandparents died, my uncle gave me these glasses and said I should adopt my grandparent's tradition, which was to drink from these glasses on every anniversary! Hard to believe that my grandparent's glasses remain but not my marriage. 

Quote of the day: In the past when this time of year rolled around you would be buying a card and maybe a gift for your spouse. There may have been a feeling of excitement in expectation of a special dinner, event, or even a romantic getaway. But, all the positive vibes have given way to divorce. Now there is a hole where your heart used to be. Or, at least a sadness. ~ Renee Smith Ettline

There are all sorts of articles on the internet about what you "should do" on your wedding anniversary after your divorce. If you have learned anything about me from Mattie's blog, then you know I do not follow should's, other people's advice about my own grief and trauma, and I most certainly I am not going to shove this day under the rug like it did not exist. It did exist. I have hundreds of family and friends who witnessed the day with me on July 15, 1995, and I have countless blog supporters who have been reading about our life together since Mattie's diagnosis and then life after Mattie's death.  

I chose to get married at the tender age of 24, because to me life is better shared with someone you love. Today would have been my 31st wedding anniversary and we dated 7 years before getting married. So a lifetime together.

This photo was taken of me in my hotel room, right before the wedding. Here's the funny story about this dress! It was the first one I picked, tried one, and loved. My mom insisted I couldn't buy the first dress I tried on. So I went on countless dress hunts. But nothing to me compared to this dress! I still have this dress preserved in a box. My hope was one day I would give it to my child. That of course never happened. 

Me and my mom in the hotel room before the wedding. Like today, it was a sweltering day in Rye, NY. In the 100s, and at one point at our reception, the sky lit up! Not unlike fireworks, except they weren't man made, they were instead signs from nature.... heat lightning. It was magical and something I will never forget. 

We were married by Monsignor Hugh McManus. He was the priest who presided over my confirmation in the Catholic Church (when I was 13). I absolutely loved him, and traveled back to NY (I was living in Washington, DC at the time) to get married in the church I grew up in. 

Me and my bridal party. From left to right are:

Jen, Karen (my maid of honor), me, Colleen, and Christine. 

In 2021, while cleaning out one of my closets in the apartment, I came across a note I wrote to one of the band leaders who was going to perform at my wedding. I wanted her to know that I planned on singing a surprise song right before we cut the cake. I wanted her to know, and I wanted her and the band to sing back up! Seriously the band loved it and were thrilled to play along with me. This was what I wrote to Mary Ann (the lead singer of the band)......

I have enclosed a copy of the music "my guy" (a 1960's song, by Mary Wells) with the lyrics that I plan to sing with it. I would like the band to do the back up parts. These parts are underlined. I have also enclosed a print out of the lyrics without music. Please inform the band for me that this is a surprise for my fiancé. He has no idea that I am planning this. I would like to do this song right before it is time to cut the cake, if that is alright with the band. 

A photo of me singing on my wedding day! 

Here are the lyrics I wrote to the song, "my guy." I replaced the name with an X.

#1

X, can you believe that finally today we're married

Just 6 years ago, would you have imagined we'd marry

When we first met at Union College we got to know each other and, we were goners

I just want to tell ya how happy I am that we're married

 

#2

X, I decided it was finally my turn to surprise you

I knew you'd never suspect that I was planning to surprise you

But I felt it was important to express myself, and let everyone know that you're my true love

You best be believing that I am so happy we're married 

#3

As a couple who has travelled from Schenectady, New York and landed up living in Washington, DC, I must say that we have muddled through whatever life has, dished out and given, has in store for us.

#4

So X, my dear, this is just a little song to remind you

When things get tough you will always have me beside you

Our parents are examples that prove to us, that with work and understanding, love's forever.

I just want to tell ya how happy I am that we're married. 

This is a page from my wedding album. You maybe asking........ what is happening here? Why is everyone standing around the dance floor in a circle? Well it was the end of the reception. Everyone was having a great time. The band played and sang Dionne Warwick's song.... That's what friends are for. I knew they were going to do this, as we planned this together, as the last song of the evening! However, the original plan was that we were going to dance as a married couple while everyone watched. So we started that way, but then that did not sit well with me. Yes it was our event, but it was an event commemorated by our family and friends and I felt they needed to be acknowledged too. 

So, in typical Vicki fashion, I went off script!!! I walked over to my parents first and thanked them and gave them hugs. Keep in mind by that point people were swaying to the music and getting into it! I then went over to my former mother-in-law and thanked her and gave her a big hug (which is what you see in the photo). From there, I went around the entire circle (to my cousin Maureen.... you and Phil are in the top photo!) and thanked and hugged every person who attended and shared this special day with us. It was a beautiful and meaningful wrap up, and captured in such a poignant song.... That's what friends are for!