Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Mattie was five years old and we were visiting my parents in Los Angeles. That day we took him to the LA Zoo. It was such a hot day, that we bought Mattie a water spray bottle with a fan. He loved it and we were all asking him for a turn to use his fan! The visor I was wearing, was actually Mattie's! We got it at the Zoo, and it had a big zebra stitched on it. However, Mattie preferred his Boston Red Sox hat. Mattie gave me his visor to use, which I actually appreciated given the intensity of the sun. Back then, I thought we would have many more August's in California. However, Mattie never returned to California again, because the following July he was diagnosed with cancer.
Quote of the day: Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go. ~ Jackson Kiddard
It was another challenging day! Not unlike yesterday and the day before. Managing my dad's irritable bowel issues are hard on a good day, but when doctors add medications to his regimen, havoc always ensues! So tomorrow, I will be reaching out to his doctor because something has to give! As it is Sunday, I took my parents out for a late lunch, like I do every weekend. Today was exhausting and I had to fully change my dad twice while at the restaurant. If that was the only issue that would be bad enough, but I was also policing the pace of how my dad was eating, so he doesn't choke, I was balancing his debris and countless tissues (as he goes through two tissue packets at each meal..... and if I did not bring a garbage bag with me, he would be tossing the tissues all over the table!), and while all this was going on, my mom was absorbed in her phone on Facebook. I have concluded this is part of her dementia, and what makes me crazy is when she reads me horror stories while I am balancing the impossible. At one point today, I literally told her to STOP. I couldn't hear one more story about a woman being attacked, abused, and the list goes on.
Tomorrow, after I drop my dad off at his memory care center, I will be interviewed by a professional cancer association on Zoom. They want to talk about Mattie Miracle, Mattie, and our research initiatives and innovations. Naturally I am very happy to do this but to me it is also very bittersweet. As I always did these type of interviews with my other half. The two of us looked at the world from different angles, but together we provided a very comprehensive picture of the Foundation's history, our psychosocial mission, and of course the beautiful story of Mattie. Will I ever get used to running the Foundation now on my own? I have no idea, all I know is I have no other choice. A common theme in my life. Nonetheless, I will give my all to this interview, because ultimately it reflects on Mattie!
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