Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Tuesday, March 28, 2017 -- Mattie died 393 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2002. Days after Mattie was born. Pictured with us is my dad. My mom and dad came into town for this milestone moment. What I remember about pregnancy with Mattie was that I looked pregnant for about 6-8 months after I gave birth to Mattie. This isn't just me being self conscious, I literally had people asking me was I expecting a baby?! I attribute this long term pregnancy look to the challenge I had delivering Mattie and then my bladder surgery following my c-section. I was a very sick mom, but was happy that Mattie was healthy. Or so I thought.

Quote of the day: The human body experiences a powerful gravitational pull in the direction of hope. That is why the patient's hopes are the physician's secret weapon. They are the hidden ingredients in any prescription. ~ Norman Cousins


I LOVE Norman Cousins' quote! There is a lot that can be said for having HOPE. This is NOT a term or feeling a majority of medical doctors are familiar with, nor do they get the power of this word. Yet the words physicians choose can either instill it or squash it completely in their patients. 

My dad had surgery today. Keep in mind that my dad has been ill since JANUARY. Yet according to his urologist, could only be scheduled today (two months later) for surgery. After waiting months for this doctor to perform the surgery, he told my mom today that there are no guarantees that the surgery would correct the problem! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? All I can say is this doctor should consider himself lucky that I wasn't in the room. Besides having no bedside manner and being particularly insensitive to my dad's symptoms (which have caused negative consequences on his quality of life), I feel we can now also add HOPE hater to his resume. Who on earth wants to hear that your loved one underwent surgery for naught?! Honestly!!! What was he thinking? Whether that is true or not true, there are ways to convey information while also providing hope. I also have learned that what patients want is doctor buy in. Buy in to working together to find solutions and it is a powerful feeling to know that if something doesn't work, the physician is in it for the long term with you. That alone is healing! In either case, this urologist and I could never work together. I would have given him his walking papers on day one. Having gone through three urologists myself, I speak from experience. No doctor should be allowed to treat a patient this way, and if he doesn't like to be challenged..... well that is too bad. He can take his God complex somewhere else. 

I turned to the internet today and literally googled..... why are medical doctors insensitive? A whole list of articles popped up (I included two links below as examples). Articles trying to explore how such a quality has evolved and has been nutured. Some articles claim that medical students are selected based on being bright and the top of their class, but they aren't being admitted based on personality. No KIDDING! What I noticed though is that articles are all over the map on the issue of sensitivity and compassion. Some say that these qualities aren't rewarded and nurtured in medical school, or that doctors have to protect themselves from patients and identifying with their feelings in order to make difficult decisions, or better yet that doctors are regulated by the economy and health insurers and therefore can't afford to spend the time listening and talking through issues. Whatever the explanation, all I can say is WOW! If they were treating a robot or an inanimate object, I could appreciate this, but human beings have feelings and thoughts and both need to be considered especially when diagnosing and treating a medical condition. 

What particularly irritates me is that some doctors feel that they know better. My dad's urologist is this way and doesn't like to be questioned. Mattie's first oncologist was like this as well. I remember him once saying to me in front of my mom and Mattie's art therapists...... GONE ARE THE DAYS when patients just listened to their doctors! If you want to pet me backward, you just say that to me! I snapped his head off in front of a group of people. At the end of the day, if a doctor doesn't treat you as part of the team to get you better, then they really are missing the boat. 

It is my hope that tomorrow is a better day for my dad and my mom. 


Why Are Doctors Such Jerks? 
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/why-are-doctors-such-jerks/Content?oid=880047

Why Your Doctor Is Such an Insensitive Jerk
http://www.cnbc.com/id/48845789

Monday, March 27, 2017

Monday, March 27, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2002. Mattie was about a month old. If you look in the background of this photo, you will see Patches, our calico. Patches was NEVER far from her family and kept a close eye on all of us. This photo captures the sleepy/dreamy look Mattie had after a bottle. A sight I will never forget. 


Quote of the day: Two thirds of cancers are unavoidable even if you live a healthy life, a study has shown. ~ UK Telegraph


My mom sent me an article in the UK Telegraph this weekend. The title alone catches you.... Two thirds of cancers are unavoidable even if you live a healthy life study finds. As adults we are constantly told that what we eat, our lifestyle, and what we are exposed to greatly influences our chances of getting cancer. Which fits our society's mindset.... meaning that we are in control of our own destiny and what happens to us. But here is the sad fact, a fact that I learned in 2008 (WITHOUT needing a study!!!) is that so much of our health is OUT OF OUR CONTROL. This study simply confirms the reality.  

Here is an excerpt from the article below that summarizes the message.......

The vast majority of cancers are probably down to unlucky defects in replicating DNA that occur out of the blue, they suggest. But it is not as well-known that each time a normal cell divides and copies its DNA to produce two new cells, it makes multiple mistakes. These copying mistakes are a potent source of cancer mutations that historically have been scientifically undervalued, and this new work provides the first estimate of the fraction of mutations caused by these mistakes.

The research, published in the journal Science, indicates that almost two-thirds of cancer-causing mutations are due to DNA copying errors. The discovery helps explain why cancer often strikes people who follow all the rules of healthy living and have no family history of the disease. Cancers triggered by copying errors could occur no matter how perfect the environment, according to co-author Dr Bert Vogelstein, also from the Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center. In some cancer types, such as those affecting the prostate, brain and bone, more than 95% of the harmful mutations were due to random DNA copying errors.

When I read that 95% of bone cancers (the type of cancer Mattie had) occur because of random DNA copying errors, how should this make me feel? Should this make me breathe a sigh of relief! Knowing that as his mom I did not contribute to the development of this disease? Frankly this knowledge just makes me shake my head even further, knowing that scientists are looking for the elusive "cure" for childhood cancer. A solution that seems very challenging to produce given that harmful mutations can arise anywhere and at any time. How do you design DRUGS to manage that? 

Now given all that was stated in this article, the last paragraph of the article truly gets me. After explaining the happenstance of these mutations, Professor Mel Greaves, director of the Centre for Evolution and Cancer at The Institute of Cancer Research in London than caveats the data by saying.......

Even if, as this study suggests, most individual cancer mutations are due to random chance, the researchers admit that the cancers they cause may still be preventable. We have good evidence to show that cancer is caused by a complex mix of environmental exposures, inherited risk, and random chance.


Are you confused yet? Which is it..... random mutations or the environment? Certainly we know in children it isn't the environment or inherited risk. That is one thing that the research (other research, not this study) seems to indicate, but to me this statement is more applicable to the adult world and that is where the message is directed. After all, we can't have adults walking around with the reality that they have NO CONTROL over their long term health and prognosis. Not a reality doctors can accept either by the way. But from someone who has lost a child to cancer, it is the REALITY and it truly is quite frightening!


Two thirds of cancers are unavoidable even if you live a healthy life, study finds:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/03/23/two-thirds-cancers-unavoidable-even-live-healthy-life-study/

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken on April 4, 2002, the day Mattie was born. This photo was taken right besides me in the operating room, on a warming table. 

Mattie arrived at 12:53am to be specific, and was the picture of health. Peter accompanied Mattie to the nursery where he got cleaned up, weighed and so forth. While Peter was with Mattie, I was still in surgery getting a grapefruit sized tumor removed from my bladder. No one knew I had this lipoma until my c-section. 


Quote of the day: The starting point of all achievement is desire. ~ Napoleon Hill


Three years ago, we started a major overhaul of our home. Why? Well Mattie had been gone from our lives for about five years at that point, and I was truly upset with the chaos all around me. We accumulated many things while Mattie was battling cancer and our home literally looked like an organized episode from the TV show, Hoarders. Piles of toys, gifts, Mattie clothes, and LOTS of hospital supplies and equipment were everywhere. Digging out from that required a great deal of stamina, strength and courage. It took me five years to reach that point of needing to do something and frankly the only reason I chose to do something was because I was upset that Mattie's room did not reflect his life appropriately. It looked more like a warehouse than a place where Mattie used to live and create. So that was my tipping point and motivator. So I started in Mattie's room. After that large clean out, and I mean large, in which I donated close to 60 large garbage bags of items to Goodwill, we painted Mattie's room a sunny orange color. Naturally when you fix one area of your home, you see the problems with all the others. So we painted downstairs and the hallways together and in December of 2013, Peter painted our bedroom. 

For many years our bedroom walls have been empty. I actually loved the NO clutter looks for a while, especially while trying to figure out what to put on that big wall. Peter and I have been wanting to feature some of our photos, but when I tell you this project was two years in the making I am not kidding. First I had to comb through hundreds of our photos, find the frames and layout we wanted to use and so forth. Needless to say as tonight's quote pointed out.... I had the desire. I am so glad that the desire turned into a reality today!!!

Peter is the artistic photographer between us. I love capturing photos but mine do not look like Peter's! I am quite sure that our travels and adventures together have brought out his inner photographer!

You had to be in the room today as we were putting up these photos to truly get how funny it was. As Peter was fixing these frames to the wall, I started humming a theme song that went with every photo. For example, the photo of Mt. Vesuvius, located in Naples... I hummed "when the moon hits your eyes." Why because the lyrics go....
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli

That's amore

This is my bureau and for the longest time, I had my moon painting just leaning on the bureau. Today Peter hung his sunset and my moon together. We both did these painting at Paint Nite!

I included the 16 photos that went on our wall today so you could see them better. What I noticed however is that most of these photos were taken after Mattie died. At first I felt bad about this but then I realized (as I reflect on this often!) that since Mattie died Peter and I both turn to nature. It provides us peace and tranquility. However, I also know that Mattie loved nature and he is the one that in a way forced me to get outside and experience trees, plants, and the simpler things around me. So whether Mattie was with us literally when these photos were taken is not important. What is important is when we are surrounded by nature we feel closer to Mattie.



Peter took this photo of Mattie Moon over Tampa, FL in 2014. We were at a conference, hosting our second Mattie Miracle think tank (it was thanks to our think tanks that the psychosocial standards got published). I literally was recovering from the flu, but I wouldn't let that stop me from hosting a think tank. I recall having an incredible room with a balcony, in which I could see this sight from my bed. 

These wonderful Black Eyed Susans are right in front of our building where we live. Peter snapped this in spring of 2016.

This is Monet's Garden in Giverny, France. Peter took this photo in 2012, when we went on a European cruise with my parents. Monet is my favorite artist, and I am so glad that Peter captured the beauty of Monet's garden. A garden Monet designed himself and which inspired so many paintings.

This photo was taken in Scotland, during our European Cruise of 2012. I am very partial to thistles. My friend Margaret, who died of ALS, used to serve me tea and treats on English china. The china pattern had thistles on it. In fact, Margaret knew how special I thought our times were together, that she bought me my own thistle patterned tea pot. So when I see thistles, I think of my "dear" friend (as she used to call me). 

This photo was taken on a Caribbean cruise in 2015, near Mexico. It is a stunning sunset, and of course as Mattie loved the sun, we thought of him. Mattie used to paint almost every scene he created with a sun in it, which is why the sun is the symbol of Mattie Miracle. 

This photo was taken during a cruise of Alaska in 2011. As the ship was going through Tracy's Fjord, Peter went on deck and captured the reflections of the clouds and the fjord which are really remarkable!

When Peter graduated from business school in 1998, we went on our first European cruise with my parents. As the ship was passing Mt. Vesuvius (a volcano) in Italy he captured this moment. 

As I child I visited Italy many times, and I will never forget going with my parents and maternal grandmother to Naples and visiting Vesuvius. We literally walked the rim of the volcano. Something I will never forget and afterward, my grandmother and I bought jewelry made out of Vesuvius lava stone. 

In 2010, my parents took Peter and I to the Grand Canyon. We literally lost Mattie in September of 2009, so leaving home and going away was a feat. It was hard to do, but we did it. I had never been to the Grand Canyon before, and I know this would have been a place Mattie would have loved to explore. 

I love how Peter captured the Canyon through a tree!

In the Fall (2016), we took Sunny on our first long walk at Great Falls, VA. Sunny loved it. He was prancing up hills and over rocks with grace and ease. At the top of our climb, Peter snapped this photo. Great Falls was another Mattie favorite!

This photo was taken in 2014, when Peter and I went to vacation in Kitty Hawk, NC. We used to take Mattie to the Outer Banks in the summer. This was where he first got exposed to an ocean and a beach. Both of which he did not like at first, but as he grew older, he absolutely loved the sand and building castles. 

After Mattie died, we did not return to the Outer Banks for many years. So 2014, was our first trip back. 

In 2010, on the same trip we went to the Grand Canyon, we then went to Sedona, Arizona with my parents. These red rocks are unforgettable! Unrelated to Arizona, this sight reminds me of the movie, Cars. The scenery in the movie featured these red rocks, and being that it was Mattie's favorite movie, this photo seemed appropriate for our room!

Peter captured this photo in 2013 at the DC Aquatic Gardens. These are water lilies. I can't tell you how many times we took Mattie to the DC Aquatic Gardens! He loved it as much as we did! It is a little piece of heaven in the middle of a city.

In July, the DC Aquatic Gardens is a must see. Peter snapped this photo of the lotuses in 2014. The lotuses are only in bloom in July, around July 4th! They are an incredible and unusual sight, that we took Mattie to every July. 

This photo is of bougainvillea taken outside the entrance to Butterfly World in Florida.  Peter snapped this photo in 2016, but literally every time we went to Butterfly World with Mattie, we would take a family photo in front of this incredible flowering plant. 

This is the only photo on our bedroom wall that was taken when Mattie was alive. We took Mattie to Flamingo Gardens in Florida with my parents in 2006. I remember Mattie used to love to mimic the one legged stance of the flamingos. I am not sure who was more intriguing to watch.... Mattie or the flamingos. 

This last photo was taken in Huntley Meadows, VA. Ironically it wasn't taken in Butterfly World. I can't tell you how many times we walked Huntley Meadows' boardwalk and nature trails with Mattie. It seems very symbolic that we saw a butterfly at this park, a place we ventured so often with Mattie. 

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Mattie was three months old and sitting in his favorite place.... his car seat. Don't ask me why Mattie loved his car seat, but he did. He preferred it over a stroller and don't get me started about a crib. Mattie HATED his crib. He despised it so much that for the first several months I put the car seat in the crib and let Mattie rest in his car seat/crib! What I love about this photo, was Mattie's dreamy look. A look that he always got right after a bottle. 


Quote of the day: Spring is the time of plans and projects. ~ Leo Tolstoy


Tolstoy was absolutely correct. Today was 80 degrees in DC. We had the windows open, we opened all the boxes that came to us for the toiletry drive, and then I got inspired to have us work on cleaning our deck and getting it ready for spring. In addition, we moved all our plants from inside to out. So between the clean out and migration of plants, we were at it for HOURS! 

I ordered Sunny a Sherpa type crate liner for when he boards next week. As soon as I took it out of the packing box, Sunny walked to it and claimed it! I am glad he likes it and hopefully it will remind him of home while we are away. 

This is the final product after hours of clean up. Between picking up leaves and debris, our perennials needed to be cleaned out and cut back. Then of course everything needed to be hosed off. We went through about four or five garbage bags of debris!

Last year, we bought a canna lily. Since last year, the plant has grown exponentially. It has been inside all winter, but now it is thrilled to be back outside. 

Friday, March 24, 2017

Friday, March 24, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Mattie was three months old and VERY alert. Mattie was born ON and only had two modes.... on and off. There was nothing in between. Mattie did not love being on his back, nor did he like tummy time. He detested it altogether. The pediatrician kept telling me the importance of some time on his back and tummy, so I tried to play with Mattie on this colorful caterpillar mat a little each day, but it never lasted long. Mattie preferred to be upright and moving. 


Quote of the day: No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich. ~ Louis Sabin


The article below is worth reading. The Weipperts lost their daughter Grace to cancer. After Grace's death, her father took two days off from work to cope with the emotions of such a traumatic loss, but then went right back to work. Mainly because there is no bereavement policy in the work force. The Weipperts want to change this so that parents who lose a child can take up to 12 weeks off of paid leave to care for their physical and psychological needs.

I am not always a fan of more legislation, but in this case, it is necessary. Necessary because for the most part society doesn't understand how overwhelming the death of a child is on every aspect of a parent's being. Not that 12 weeks is going to solve the problem, but parents do need time away from other stressors to cope so that they can try to move forward with this loss. 


FMLA Bill Would Require Child Bereavement Leave:
https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/employment-law/pages/bereavement-leave-requirements.aspx

Peter took Sunny to work with him today. The ironic part about all of this is that people at work want to know when Sunny is coming in. Frankly it appears they want weekly visits by Sunny, as they enjoy his companionship! Today another doggie was also at the office. This doxie's name is Baguette! Cute, no?

Sunny and Baguette have become friends and pal around the office. Here they are playing with a tennis ball in Sunny's mouth!

Sunny up close! Sunny practically begs Peter each morning to take him to work with him. I think Sunny loves the walk back and forth with Peter, along with the constant stimulation within the office. 

I entitle this, "Friends sharing secrets!"

Sunny is a very calm and patient dog. No matter what is thrown at him, he always remains calm and cool, and this does impact the behavior of other dogs. 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2002. Thank goodness for Shutterfly. It is an on-line photo system that stores all of our photos. For some reason I can't find many of the electronic photos I stored on my computer. Not even in our back up folders. Thankfully when I went to our Shutterfly account, I was able to download many of the wonderful baby photos we took of Mattie. This is one for example. When Mattie was a baby he looked more like Peter. It was only when Mattie became a toddler, and certainly as preschooler, did he look just like me. Mattie was three months old in this photo..... but look how alert he was!!! As I always said, Mattie was born on and did not want to miss out on anything, which was one of the reasons he never napped. 


Quote of the day: All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche



Not that I wasn't aware of this already, but my life revolves around walking. I live in the city, which means walking is involved, I have an active dog who needs constant walking, and a lot of the work I do for the Foundation entails walking, carrying items, and MORE walking. After meeting with the doctor two days ago, I was disillusioned, especially since arthritis isn't something that improves with time. Given how awful it has been to even put shoes on, I have been worrying about my overall quality of life. 

In any case, despite how I feel, I keep moving. I have learned for the past 15 years how to live with daily chronic headaches and migraines. So I have a lot of experience with pain, but on top of that I am dealing with fibromyalgia and arthritis now. It's quite a combination. When I sit back and assess all of this, what I deduce is a lot of issues have arisen for me since Mattie's death. In a way, experiencing this trauma and loss has aged my body internally. People may look at me and think I am fine, but my battery of issues do say otherwise. 

There were times today, I wanted to say.... nope I am not doing this! But I did not give in an listen. Instead I went about my chores and even walked Sunny. While out with Sunny today, we bumped into several of our neighbors. It was like a block party, without the party. So this was a positive diversion, which once again I would never have had WITHOUT walking. 

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2002. Mattie was about ten days old. Despite how we were taught and told to wrap Mattie up (swaddle), Mattie absolutely hated it. He did not like to be restrained. As you can see his arms broke free from the wrapping and minutes later the feet would be out too! He was a precious sight and it is hard to imagine such a healthy looking baby could get cancer and die. 


Quote of the day: The most critical time in any battle is not when I’m fatigued, it’s when I no longer care. ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough


Today was literally a catch up day for me and the Foundation. I was glued to the computer processing donations with acknowledgment letters for most of the day. Of course there were Sunny walks. Despite how I feel, there are always Sunny walks. I can tell when he needs to walk because he starts pacing around. It is down right impossible to concentrate when he is pacing! So we walk. I did see a doctor about my feet yesterday, only to learn that I have early stages of arthritis in my feet. Not what I wanted to hear, since I already have a very full plate of medical issues. Part of me wonders whether I have inflammation from all the walks I do with Sunny, or did the walking just speed up an inevitable process? I won't know, but I do know pain. Of which I have been having in my feet for over a week. We take our feet for granted until they aren't working well. But I do a lot of walking, and like to walk, so this is a very hard reality. 

Meanwhile, Peter and I had a phone call today with the leadership of the Association of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses (APHON). We are no strangers to APHON, since they were the first professional association to endorse the Psychosocial Standards of Care and in the Fall of 2016, awarded Mattie Miracle with an achievement award. Now APHON would like to work with us on establishing Mattie Miracle evidence based psychosocial standards implementation research grants with their association. We are very excited about this opportunity, to work with APHON, and to support such implementation research. Because at the end of the day, Mattie Miracle is looking for data and supportive care models that advance the practice of the standards in order to help children with cancer and their families.  

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Tuesday, March 21, 2017 -- Mattie died 392 weeks ago today.


Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2007. Mattie was almost five years old here, and in preschool. After school we spent time out on the deck and as you can see Mattie captured all the snow that fell and made little castles with it! This was classic Mattie, because after building with sand or snow, he always wanted to decorate his creations. Usually with something found in nature. 






Quote of the day: The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. ~ Harry Golden


Mattie Miracle wrote a psychosocial chapter for a sarcoma book about a year or so ago. Now that the other authors have finished their chapters, the book is set to be published this year. Very exciting because all the other chapters are on medical care, which is why this psychosocial chapter is such a crucial addition. In any case, I spent several hours proofing this chapter, and since it was written about a year ago, several things needed to be updated as it related to the Psychosocial Standards of Care.  Once the book comes out, I will try to share my chapter with my readers. 

Meanwhile, Sunny and I went for a walk this afternoon. He chased a squirrel right up the tree. You can see him in the center of the photo. 

Sunny waiting for the squirrel to come down!!! If I did not hold Sunny tightly on the leash, there would be many dead squirrels in our neighborhood! 

This was the sight in our kitchen today at dinner time. Who says cats and dogs can't be friends? I really think these two enjoy each other's company at meal times.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Monday, March 20, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2002. Mattie was just born and home from the hospital. Look who was on the couch overseeing the process? Our calico cat Patches! Patches was a true member of our family. She found us literally, as she wandered from the street onto our deck. Shoot in the paw with a BB gun. Patches came to us a mess, but grew into a beautiful cat, who we had for 16 years. When Mattie was born, Patches just understood that she had to behave and watch over Mattie. Even when he pulled her tail and chased her as a toddler, she was patient and never hissed or scratched. Mattie became a preschooler who was very protective of Patches and taught his friends how to interact with a cat, if they weren't familiar with cats. Patches was a loyal and loving companion who we remember today, on the fourth anniversary of her death. 

The beauty of Patches! Four years ago we had to put Patches to sleep because of her progressive bone cancer. Can you believe it? Bone cancer, the same killer that took Mattie from us.  

Patches ashes remain with us, in a beautiful wood box. She meant that much to us. 






Quote of the day: There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand. ~ Sarah Dessen


I was in the car with my friend today, as we were running chores. In the midst of chatting, her cell phone rang. She answered it and I could hear screaming on the other end. It was a person who claimed to have kidnapped her daughter and wanted my friend's attention and money. He even put a young girl on the phone for us to hear. The girl was hysterical and screaming for help. The kidnapper said that if my friend didn't comply he was going to cut all of her daughter's fingers off. 

I have to tell you this was a very disturbing phone call. I wasn't even thinking straight because if I had been, I would have called her daughter with my cell phone to verify that she was okay. My friend knew about the virtual kidnapping scam, but nonetheless, right after the call, she contacted her daughter. Who fortunately was find! I then grabbed my friend's cell phone to look at the number of the person who called her. It was a number out of Mexico (I am reporting what showed up on the phone). In any case, I then called 911. Naturally 911 knew all about the hoax and said there was NOTHING they could do about it. They could only help if the child was really kidnapped or if money was transferred. 

This whole incident has stayed with me all day. It really made me uneasy and truly disheartened to think two things..... 1) there are people out there pretending to kidnap children to get money, and have no regard for human life and how this news will affect parents on the phone, and 2) that there isn't anything that local law enforcement can do about this crime. It leaves me perplexed, further disappointed with humanity, and truly wondering about the state of our world. 

I found the article below that highlights the virtual scam in the DC region and what I do what to say is that if this happens to you or someone you know, it should be reported to your local FBI office. 


Reports of virtual kidnapping scams pop up in region:

http://wtop.com/local/2016/05/reports-virtual-kidnapping-scams-pop-region/

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2007. We took Mattie to Luray Caverns in Virginia. This commercial cave is a trip to remember. Mattie loved it and managed through most of the tour, until we got to the big Great Stalacpipe Organ. An organ that makes it sounds by mallets hitting 37 naturally formed stalactites. The sound is truly overwhelming, loud, and it seems to shake the entire cave. At which point Mattie headed right to Peter to be picked up! Mattie was a lot braver than me, because even as an adult, going into a cave is not fun or natural to me.  



Quote of the day: Everything yields to diligence. ~ Thomas Jefferson



I feel like Peter and I live by Jefferson's quote. One thing we are as it relates to the Foundation, and that is diligent. There are NO down days, no days when we are not working on a Mattie Miracle project, returning emails, processing paperwork, and so forth. I do believe that it is this diligence and hard work that has gotten us where we are today. 

But sometimes this pace is hard to manage. I have forgotten what weekends are like when you get out, have plans, and do something other than working. This is definitely one of the side effects of losing a child to cancer. You need to fill this immense void in your life, and for me, the way I have learned to cope is through the diversion of hard work. When Mattie was alive, occupying his time, finding things to stimulate his very active brain, and participating and socializing with the world around us described our weekends. I am quite sure that without Mattie in my life, I wouldn't have experienced Luray Caverns, metamorphosis with tent moth caterpillars, or digging for sharks teeth at Calvert Cliffs to name a few. When I hear what my friends are doing with their children on the weekends, it is hard to take. Mainly because I feel like they are part of the world and continue to experience it whereas I am interacting with it in quite a different way. 


This afternoon, Peter and I took Sunny for a walk. Thank goodness for Sunny, because otherwise, especially in the cold, I wouldn't be moving from home. Look at this lovely spring garden we passed along our journey. It did not feel like spring outside, but with all these pops of color, one would think otherwise.