Monday, July 11, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2007 in Lancaster, PA. We took Mattie to a local train museum, and while returning to the hotel from the day's adventure we saw this rainbow colored structure lying on a field. So we parked the car and went to explore it and to figure out what it was. It turned out to be a trampoline, but one like I had never seen before. Mattie took to it instantly and he and Peter were jumping up and down for several minutes. To this day, I can vividly see this field with nothing much around it other than this trampoline and it was just happenstance that we came across it in our travels.
Quote of the day: The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. ~ Hilary Stanton Zunin
Peter had his first full day of work in Nigeria. He is tired, but holding his own. Though we are unable to talk, we do communicate throughout the day by email. Nigeria is six hours ahead of Washington, DC, yet we find a way to connect.
My friend Tanja, and her daughter Katharina, are visiting Alaska this week. They have made my week by writing to me while away. Each day I get an update about what they have seen and done. They are preparing me for my trip to Alaska that Peter and I are taking with my parents in August. I just can't get over the wonderful sights of nature they have seen in just seven days. However, what captures my mind and heart is on each daily adventure, Tanja and Katharina are reminded of Mattie. They feel a strong connection to him in Alaska, whether it be through the glorious sun or the whales, eagles, moose or seals they have seen. It sounds like Mattie would have absolutely loved Alaska and its natural beauty, peacefulness, and animals. Tanja sent me this picture tonight, with the sun beaming through the clouds. A miraculous sight that makes us reflect on Mattie. In many ways Tanja is open to signs from Mattie as am I. Tonight after dinner, as they were walking out of the restaurant, ABBA's Dancing Queen could be heard. As many of my readers know, Dancing Queen was one of Mattie's favorite songs to hear while doing physical therapy at the hospital. Many of us in fact can't listen to this song now without thinking of Mattie. It is ironic that this song should play for them on their last night of vacation. Tanja reminds me often that my son was remarkable and has no problem talking about him and helping me to keep his memory alive. I am honored that while she is away, she is thinking of Mattie, thinking of me and how I am feeling, and takes this time to connect with me. These connections do matter and they do make a big difference in my day.I went to visit Mary, Ann's mom today. While Ann and her family are on vacation, I try to visit Mary each day to provide her company and support. While visiting I bumped into Catherine. She is the resident I met last week when I stopped by to see Mary (Catherine was having lunch in the dining room with Mary, they were sitting right next to each other). Catherine loves the fact that I am originally from New York and she says she loves my accent because it reminds her of HOME. No one has ever told me they LOVE my accent! Catherine came into Mary's room this evening and we all talked together for a while. Several of Catherine's friends who also live in the facility were hospitalized this week. So she is feeling very lonely. I invited her into Mary's room to chat. In addition, she wanted to talk to her friends who were in the hospital to find out how they were doing, but she did not have the hospital phone number. So I googled that for her and wrote it down, so she can connect with her friends. When living in an institution, connecting with friends is vital. So I sensed that she felt a bit lost tonight without this companionship. Catherine and I have only met each other once before, but we have taken an instant liking to one another. Hearing conversation is very good for Mary, and I am happy we had this gathering in her room.
I would like to end tonight's posting with a story my mom wrote about the most recent Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Walk. I appreciate her capturing these observations and details and writing them down for me.
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Lasting Impressions II by Virginia R. Sardi
The star attractions of the 2011 Walkathon were Noah and Lauren, the bright, beautiful faces of hope that came to symbolize the event this year. These children fought osteosarcoma, survived it and volunteered to tell their stories to the people who assembled at the Walkathon. They spoke about the challenges they faced in coping with the disease, the effects of treatment and the return to “a new normalcy” when it was all over. They connected with their audience right away and were treated as modern day heroes in detailing their own experiences fighting the disease with poignancy from the. heart. To their credit, throughout the day they both showed “true grit” in their ability to enjoy the glorious event and were happy to be accepted “just like any other kid” in support of a cure for childhood cancer. From my perspective, I sensed a high degree of maturity in these children who at an early age appreciated what it meant to be alive and in good health but who had no illusions, recognizing that children do get very sick and some die. They were forced by circumstances to grow up fast, become realists and behave with honesty and openness about the fragility of life showing a tenacious resilience to remain positive in the face of grim news often lacking in adults confronted with similar health issues. What an awesome pair they are! Their parents are to be congratulated for helping them navigate through the cancer battle with so few psychological scars. Although Noah had a leg amputated and wore a prosthetic, he could be seen on the track taking an active part in the Walkathon just like everyone else. We learned that Lauren is a budding entrepreneur and has used her creativity to make bows out of duct tape that are simply beautiful. She sells her bows to raise money for the MMCF in memory of her buddy, Mattie. At the event, the bows were sold out long before the event was over! I have one that I will always treasure because it was given to me by Austin, the nineteen year old son of Christine, Vicki and Peter’s good friend, who “adopted” me as one of his grandmothers. That was a big surprise! I said he could call me Grammie, as did Mattie. Then, Austin explained that he felt like he was Mattie’s older brother so calling me Grammie was only natural. Austin related a little bit of a conversation he had with Mattie at Mattie’s seventh and last birthday party at Christine’s house. While they were chatting, Mattie spoke about what the future might hold for him and confided his uncertainty to Austin. Austin told me he responded by saying, “Mattie, you will always live in my heart,” and when Mattie heard that, he gave Austin one of his big beautiful smiles and went on to enjoy the rest of the day. Knowing Austin as I now do, after our conversations at the Walkathon, he definitely has the sensitivity to befriend a sick little boy and make him feel better about himself and alleviate his fears. It was a marvelous revelation and further evidence that Mattie touched the hearts of all he came in contact with in his short life with each one of us having a unique and memorable story to tell!
At the Walkathons, I have made many friendships that link back to Mattie, propelling his memory into a living and vibrant force. This year I met the recently born grandchildren of both Doris, the mother of Theresa, one of Vicki’s graduate students at GWU and Margaret, Mattie’s first preschool teacher. Both were infants in their carriages, and definitely the youngest participants at the Walkathon. It gave me pleasure to see them at the event for they represent a future generation of potential advocates for Mattie’s cause. It is a tribute to Vicki and Peter that their devotion to the proposition that a brighter future for children with cancer is attainable through their fund raising efforts of MMCF and their advocacy for new legislation to address the delinquencies in funding over the past two decades. It is their belief that telling Mattie’s story will engender strong passions which will raise consciousness in the public mind, erasing the pattern of invisibility prevalent in the past and like Mattie’s oak tree at SSSAS will take root in fertile soil, flourish and become a mighty force for good!
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