Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday, August 26, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007 in Coronado, CA. Mattie loved these surreys and riding on them. The funny part about all of this was it was very hard to move this surrey. It isn't as easy as bicycle riding. Mattie got a major kick out of watching us struggle to peddle and pump this thing, and I think we had more fun laughing about this than actually riding and exploring the Island.

Quote of the day: Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. ~ Earl Grollman

First an earthquake. Then the aftershocks. And now an impending hurricane.

"This has been perhaps the most unusual week in the history of the District of Columbia," D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray said at his pre-hurricane news conference Friday afternoon.

I spent part of the day trying to get ready for Hurricane Irene. We have lived in our complex for over 15 years, and in all this time, management never wrote a memo to their residents requesting that flower pots, flags, chairs, and so forth be placed inside. So today's memo and notice caught my attention. As I went grocery shopping, I could see panic ensuing. I am used to this hysteria in the winter time, but not in the summer months. All of this news coverage can make you feel very unsettled.

I think after experiencing cancer and Mattie's death, I am highly sensitive to things that are beyond my control, such as natural crises like a hurricane. This afternoon, I met up with my friend Tina, and we went for ice cream. Things always seem a little better over ice cream. I can assure you I ate a lot of ice cream when Mattie was in the hospital!

Tina and her family were in the Outer Banks, NC on vacation. However, yesterday people were evacuated from the Outer Banks and therefore her vacation was cut three days short. I remember going to the Outer Banks with Mattie, and I can't imagine how I would have felt cutting short my vacation. I most likely would have been in a terrible mood. However, when I mentioned this to Tina, her response caught my attention. She basically said that coming home early from a vacation is unpleasant but not horrible. That what I lived through and continue to live through is horrible. So in essence what Tina is saying to me is that Mattie and my life has put things into context for her. She said she is healthy and her children are healthy, so she has nothing to complain about. I thought her response was very sensitive and I appreciated it. When your life changes dramatically, it is good to know that others around you can comprehend your thoughts and feelings.

Peter and I both woke up today and remembered that we dreamed about Mattie. What are the chances that we both should have such a dream? In Peter's dream, Mattie was well and trying to accomplish a task. Mattie was sharing this achievement with Peter. In my dream, Mattie had cancer, and we were at some sort of concert, and I was carrying him around and he was unhappy. Two very different dreams, with two very different meanings. I am signing off early because I am still not feeling well and am also battling a migraine. For all our readers impacted by Hurricane Irene, you are in our thoughts.