A 
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008 in Mattie's hospital room. That was Mattie's second month of chemotherapy and his first month of the entire year in which he wasn't in school. Mattie's "girlfriend," Charlotte came to visit Mattie that day. For a six year old to enter a room with beeping IVs, to see her friend without his hair and looking so weak, was NO easy accomplishment. Yet Charlotte did it and though Mattie was depleted of energy to physically play, Charlotte crawled onto his bed right next to him and they watched Scooby Doo together. In the midst of all of this, Tricia (one of Mattie's HEM/ONC nurses and a nurse whom I feel very attached to) was flushing Mattie's IV lines and trying to do this on the side so as to not get in Mattie or Charlotte's way. However, what I love about this picture is it captures and illustrates the word, FRIENDSHIP, to me. A friend who cared about Mattie more than worrying about how she felt about being in a hospital and in a hospital room.
Quote of the day: A Thousand Words Can't Bring You Back, I Know Because I Tried And Neither Can a Million Tears I Know Because I Cried. ~Author Unknown
I appreciate so many of my friends who have written today to wish us a good trip! As we leave tomorrow afternoon, I find I am still packing and trying to get organized. Typically I am a quick packer and have a solid understanding of all the things needed to bring with me. Going to Alaska is a bit more obscure for me and therefore it has caused me to think more and pack more methodically. Peter and I most definitely need to get away and to do something very different. Peter certainly needs the break from his intense 12 hour work schedule, and I need a break for more emotional reasons. Needless to say, family vacations are hard for all of us, because the focus of our family is now gone. Mattie was the center of attention for us and for my parents, and going on vacation now means something very different than going on vacation with Mattie.
My friends Tanja and Katharina recently went to Alaska, and they both told me they felt very connected with Mattie while they were there. They sent me pictures along the way and wanted me to know about their sightings and how these sightings reminded them of my son. Tanja and Katharina are in Germany, yet they both write to me while on vacation to let me know that they are thinking of me. I find this very meaningful and very sensitive, since they know that the summer months are particularly challenging for me. They reach out to tell me what they are doing but also share a thought or feeling with me about my situation. I am writing about this because I guess what I am trying to say is it means a great deal to those of us who are grieving to know that we haven't been forgotten and that friends reflect on our situation no matter where they are. Today, Tanja and Katharina wrote to wish us a safe trip and to tell me to be open to signs from Mattie. I am always open to these signs!
Each August, Ann's cousin visits her from Massachusetts. Throughout the year, I periodically have the opportunity to talk with him on the phone. Each time we talk he reflects on how much he is looking forward to spending time with Ann and the good time he will have when he visits. Within these conversations he always asks me if he will see me when he comes into town. Since August is a long way away, some times during the fall or winter months, it is hard to know whether I will be here when he is visiting. Nonetheless, this year I promised him on the phone I would be around, so I made every effort possible to try to plan our travels around his two week long stay. Fortunately this was his first week here, and I was able to see him twice. We got together this morning for breakfast and what I love about Ann's cousin is he appreciates eating and connecting with people. Two things we share in common!
I am signing off for now. Next time I will be writing the blog, I will be in Seattle.
Thursday, August 4, 2011Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008 in Mattie's hospital room. That was Mattie's second month of chemotherapy and his first month of the entire year in which he wasn't in school. Mattie's "girlfriend," Charlotte came to visit Mattie that day. For a six year old to enter a room with beeping IVs, to see her friend without his hair and looking so weak, was NO easy accomplishment. Yet Charlotte did it and though Mattie was depleted of energy to physically play, Charlotte crawled onto his bed right next to him and they watched Scooby Doo together. In the midst of all of this, Tricia (one of Mattie's HEM/ONC nurses and a nurse whom I feel very attached to) was flushing Mattie's IV lines and trying to do this on the side so as to not get in Mattie or Charlotte's way. However, what I love about this picture is it captures and illustrates the word, FRIENDSHIP, to me. A friend who cared about Mattie more than worrying about how she felt about being in a hospital and in a hospital room.
Quote of the day: A Thousand Words Can't Bring You Back, I Know Because I Tried And Neither Can a Million Tears I Know Because I Cried. ~Author Unknown
I appreciate so many of my friends who have written today to wish us a good trip! As we leave tomorrow afternoon, I find I am still packing and trying to get organized. Typically I am a quick packer and have a solid understanding of all the things needed to bring with me. Going to Alaska is a bit more obscure for me and therefore it has caused me to think more and pack more methodically. Peter and I most definitely need to get away and to do something very different. Peter certainly needs the break from his intense 12 hour work schedule, and I need a break for more emotional reasons. Needless to say, family vacations are hard for all of us, because the focus of our family is now gone. Mattie was the center of attention for us and for my parents, and going on vacation now means something very different than going on vacation with Mattie.
My friends Tanja and Katharina recently went to Alaska, and they both told me they felt very connected with Mattie while they were there. They sent me pictures along the way and wanted me to know about their sightings and how these sightings reminded them of my son. Tanja and Katharina are in Germany, yet they both write to me while on vacation to let me know that they are thinking of me. I find this very meaningful and very sensitive, since they know that the summer months are particularly challenging for me. They reach out to tell me what they are doing but also share a thought or feeling with me about my situation. I am writing about this because I guess what I am trying to say is it means a great deal to those of us who are grieving to know that we haven't been forgotten and that friends reflect on our situation no matter where they are. Today, Tanja and Katharina wrote to wish us a safe trip and to tell me to be open to signs from Mattie. I am always open to these signs!
Each August, Ann's cousin visits her from Massachusetts. Throughout the year, I periodically have the opportunity to talk with him on the phone. Each time we talk he reflects on how much he is looking forward to spending time with Ann and the good time he will have when he visits. Within these conversations he always asks me if he will see me when he comes into town. Since August is a long way away, some times during the fall or winter months, it is hard to know whether I will be here when he is visiting. Nonetheless, this year I promised him on the phone I would be around, so I made every effort possible to try to plan our travels around his two week long stay. Fortunately this was his first week here, and I was able to see him twice. We got together this morning for breakfast and what I love about Ann's cousin is he appreciates eating and connecting with people. Two things we share in common!
I am signing off for now. Next time I will be writing the blog, I will be in Seattle.
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