Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2004. Mattie and I went to Target and together we picked out this costume. The costume had to be just right otherwise Mattie wouldn't wear it. Mattie had no problem with sweat suit material and when we spotted this pooh outfit, we knew it had to be the one. Mattie and I both loved Winnie the Pooh, and in my opinion Mattie made the cutest pooh.
Quote of the day: Anger is a short madness. ~ Horace
It is the day after Halloween and I can't tell you how many emails I received today about our candy drive. Every question possible..... what type of candy do you want, what size, can the candy have nuts, where should we drop off the candy, must the candy be sorted.................... get the picture?! What would drive the average person crazy, doesn't bother me at all. I like interfacing with people who contact me about the Foundation and I don't view it as a bother but instead a way to spread awareness about what we do. I must admit candy peaks the curiosity of people of all ages!
However, what I did not expect today was feedback from someone I know about my role in the Foundation. As of tomorrow, Mattie Miracle with be 9 years old. November 2nd is Mattie Miracle's birthday. The Foundation is older than Mattie was when he died. I have babied a Foundation longer than my own son. Needless to say, because the Foundation represents Mattie, I keep a close eye on everything the Foundation does.... whether it is visiting our hospitals, interacting with our child life specialists, assessing our snack/item carts, interfacing with donors, and of course working with our national researchers on our psychosocial standards agenda. What I deem as providing oversight, commitment, and love to everything we do, I found out today that others view me as controlling and a micro-manager. This is a new one to me because I have never received such feedback before on any of the jobs I have ever done, and I have worked with a lot of people in my lifetime doing various tasks.
Naturally despite my anger over hearing this perspective, I did listen, because this is a friend. Mind you I can listen, absorb what is being said, and appreciate someone else's feelings, but that doesn't mean I agree with it. But, I am mature enough to hear it, yet I am not quite sure those who are willing to judge me would be as open to hearing my perspective or how I see it from my vantage point.
At the end of the day, the conversation reminded me that there are two sets of people in the world..... those lucky enough to have children and those who lost their children and are childless. These two groups co-exist in the world but I am not quite sure we can ever fully understand the other. I feel quite certain of this because I interact with many Foundations in the childhood cancer space, and all Founders are heavily involved, dedicated, committed, and provide the direction for their organization. They do this because like Peter and me, they too have lost children to cancer. It is a loss that is so great that it is hard to comprehend or try to describe. Yet what keeps all of us going is the work we do in our child's memory. Therefore, receiving such hurtful feedback, which I deem wasn't merited, can be personally devastating to a bereaved parent.
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