A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



October 6, 2020

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Tuesday, October 6, 2020 -- Mattie died 575 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2002. Mattie was 6 months old. As you can see, I took Mattie outside into our commons area to do what he loved the most.... walk. Mattie had no interest in sitting still and forget about crawling. He wanted to move and his "tot wheels" made that possible. We had the perfect enclosed space for Mattie to zoom around, to learn to fly a kite, and to learn to ride a bicycle.  


Quote of the day: Today's coronavirus update from Johns Hopkins.

  • number of people diagnosed with the virus: 7,488,372
  • number of people who died from the virus: 210,637


Do you ever feel like hours, minutes, and days are just flying by, and yet you don't feel like MUCH is different? Some days I feel like I get up and the next thing I know it, it is time to cook dinner. With a chunk of time in between, where I don't get as much done as I once did! It is very frustrating and on a subconscious level stressful.

Somehow, to me it is the first week of October, but in actuality it is the second week. Which means that Friday, I have a licensure board meeting. Yet if I did not receive a follow up email today about it, I have to tell you I would have completely tuned out to that my attendance was required. It simply wasn't on my radar scope, nor were the hundreds of pages of minutes and documents I have to read to prepare. This is a first for me, as I never am this disoriented. I blame living in limbo since March for my confusion. 

The one highlight of the day for me are our big afternoon walks with Sunny. As we were walking today, look what was standing in the middle of the path ahead?
Mama deer with her baby. Mattie would have LOVED this sighting. As he was always intrigued by mothers with their children. He liked to compare these sightings to him and me, and Mattie would typically say "that's just like us!"



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