Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Tuesday, May 16, 2023 -- Mattie died 711 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in May of 2008. That weekend we took Mattie to Calvert Cliffs in Maryland. This is a fascinating nature center, because you literally have to walk over a mile through the woods to get to the Bay. The wonderful part about this beach is that if you dig through the sand you can find fossilized shark teeth. You have to spend some time digging, but each time Mattie visited this beach he was always successful. In fact, Mattie kept a bag of his collected sharks teeth in the kitchen. Our visit there was always a full day endeavor of walking in the woods, time looking for sharks teeth, a picnic on the beach and then a walk back to the car through the woods. I miss these fun adventures.  

Quote of the day: Dementia is a particularly long farewell to the self. With most illnesses, death comes quite swiftly. With dementia, the flicker with which life ends is excruciatingly slowed. ~ Nicci Gerrard

This morning on top of the usual chaos going on, we had the electrician over to put up two of my parent's chandeliers. My parents bought both chandeliers in the 1960s, and when they bought them they were already antiques. So we surmise they maybe at least 100 years old. Any one who knows me, knows I do not like change. AT ALL. I have had to cope with LOTS of change in my life, which maybe why, I just don't like it. 

When we moved into the house, this was the chandelier in the dining room. It had crystals on it, but it was modern, simple, and elegant. I grew to like this chandelier. However, my dad has been pestering me about their chandeliers, which have been sitting for a year in and half in HUGE crates in our garage. Neither Peter nor I could handle the questions anymore, so Peter arranged for our electrician to come over today. 

So I went from the chandelier above to this one. As a child, I remember this chandelier in our dining room. So basically I grew up with this light fixture and I can recall my grandmother up on a ladder cleaning each crystal. She had the patience of a saint. 

My mom bought both chandeliers in New York City, at a store that sold antique chandeliers from Europe. The glass on this chandelier is called aurora borealis, most likely because of the shimmering colors that are reflected from the glass. 

It is a stunning chandelier, and I always loved it in my parent's homes, but I do not feel the same way about it in my space. I am sure in time I will come to appreciate it, but I also know that I have little to no control over my life, and that also applies to decorating my own house. So I get frustrated. 

This is what the primary bedroom used to look like. I am showing the photo so you can see the chandelier that used to hang in this space. Once we moved it, we removed the wallpaper and repainted the room. Given that my parents need a lot of space, they are in the primary bedroom in the house and Peter and I have a child sized room. 

This is their second chandelier that was hung today. The picture doesn't do it justice because the metal frame on the fixture is beautiful. 

My mom had a physical therapy appointment at the hospital today and I had my dad in tow because he had a CT scan for his lungs an hour after her session. While driving to the hospital, I could see my dad in the front seat out of the corner of my eye grimacing. So I asked him what the problem was, and he immediately responded.... I have to poop. Mind you he had three bowel movements at home before getting into the car. Yes my life has turned into one clean up job after the other. 

By the time I got him into the hospital and to the bathroom, he had pooped already. While trying to remove his clothing to clean him, he went again. This time literally all over himself, me, the floor, and the bags I was carrying. I literally had poop all over my shoes, between my toes, and all over my hands. Honestly it was a horror scene and it at times makes me either want to start shouting or absolutely lose it. But that would serve no purpose, as I would still have to clean him, myself, and everything else around me. 

I literally showed up to the physical therapy appointment thoroughly frazzled and smelling awful. I am very sensitive to smells as they can quickly trigger a migraine. I must have washed my hands at least ten times! But hear is the irony of all of this, my dad remembered nothing! Literally five minutes after this was over he had no memory of the nightmare that I had cleaned up. I say good for him, but definitely NOT good for me.