A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



August 20, 2023

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. It was Mattie's first month on chemotherapy and as you can see his hair had almost completely fell out. That day, his art therapists gave him some wooden cut outs, that when glued together would form a tissue box holder. Mattie decorated all the sides and then assembled it. To this day, this tissue box holder sits on my nightstand with tissues in it. I will never forget that moment in time and how we were so overwhelmed with Mattie's diagnosis and fearful of how he would respond to treatment. We learned so much from Mattie about love, friendship, and life. 



Quote of the day: The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. ~ Frederick Buechner


My parents have not been sleeping well. Mostly because my dad just can't stop scratching his limbs. He constantly feels itchy, regardless of what topical cream I put on him. My mom told she was up all night telling my dad NOT TO scratch! 

This is a photo of my dad's legs. He looks like he was attacked by a kitten. The sad part is he has NO recollection of his scratching and whether I put cream on him or wrap up his legs, arms, and hands, NOTHING works. It is like he has an internal itch! At first, I thought he was getting bug bites outside, but now I realize there are NO bites.

So my next conclusion was this is either psychiatric or medication related. Therefore, I reflected and thought.... maybe it was his new diabetic med he started a few weeks ago. I looked up glipizide and sure enough it says...

skin rash, itching, hives, swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat. Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)—tremors or shaking, anxiety, sweating, cold or clammy skin, confusion, dizziness, rapid heartbeat


I contacted my dad's doctor this morning and he immediately responded to STOP the medication. I am truly hoping this helps to relieve the issue because I just can't take it! 

Later this afternoon, I took my parents out to lunch. We were all supposed to go out together, but Peter's dad has been feeling nauseous since Friday night. None of us are sick, so the issue lies with him. Any case, it wasn't the four days I had hoped for with this visit. 

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