A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



August 22, 2023

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Tuesday, August 22, 2023 -- Mattie died 725 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2008. It was Mattie's first admission to the hospital for chemotherapy. I remember this day vividly, as we gathered in the hallway to make masks. Back then, there was NO child life playroom, so all activities took place in the middle of the hallways. Not ideal. Nonetheless, Mattie made this beautiful mask, and for years I had it on display, until it completely disintegrated. But what I won't forget is how crucial these art projects were for us, as they helped us focus on something else other than the life threatening illness that loomed over our heads. We learned the importance of art projects, during Mattie's first hospital admission. 

Quote of the day: If you’ve ever seen shimmery spots or flashing lights, or worse, experienced blind spots, you know that random visual disturbances can be mega creepy as far as health symptoms go. When spotty vision resolves fairly quickly, it’s easy to chalk it up to a bad week of sleep, your intense new hot-yoga regimen, or even just good old-fashioned aging. However, if you frequently experience bouts of temporary vision problems—with or without other symptoms like a headache, dizziness, or nausea—ocular migraine could be the reason. ~ Petra Guglielmetti


Since I am right in the midst of an ocular migraine attack, I will make this short. I took my dad to the doctor today, and instead of an allergy to his diabetes medication, the doctor thinks he is having a bad reaction to the antibiotic he put him on. My dad was on two courses of antibiotics because he has been scratching his skin non-stop. In the process, my dad created many open wounds. 

The doctor put him back on prednisone today for five days and wants him to resume the diabetes medication. I will comply, but to me the verdict is still out on the diabetes medication. Needless to say, the doctor wants me to call him tomorrow with an update, because what you see on my dad's feet and legs are all over his body. My dad is constantly scratching, up at all hours, and none of us have had a minutes peace for a month. 

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