Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2003..... our first family trip to the beach. Mattie was a year old and the whole surf and sand experience was totally overwhelming to him. As you can see, Mattie did not take his eyes off the water for a minute. To him it was frightening and therefore, this was our first and last visit to the beach during that week long trip. I am glad I did not push it and followed Mattie's cues, because by the next summer, it was a complete 180! Mattie loved it! With Mattie, I learned early on that I had to follow his lead and time line.
Quote of the day: I love you, but I hate you. I miss you, but I’m better off without you. I want you out of my life, but I never want to let you go. ~ Minhal Mehdi
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Today was another day of firsts. I had to call AT&T to learn about cell phone upgrades. Technology is not my bailiwick, therefore I tread much slower on making such decisions. Yet all of our phones are old. The AT&T rep was lovely and very patient, and now I have more information. My next step, which I am not ready for, is to go into the store. Again, this was something I always relied on Peter for, and now I realize he doesn't want to talk with me or help me in any manner. I have gone from the love of his life to his sworn enemy in a year's time.
The next lesson I learned today was that olive oil is NOT just for cooking! Do you know it removes caked on tree sap from the paint of a car?! I am becoming the jack of all trades. Midday I took my parents out for frozen yogurt. Before I get my dad into the car, I always make sure he uses the bathroom first. But truthfully I never get a break. While having yogurt, I received an email from my lawyer. I was expecting her message, nor was I expecting the message she delivered to me. My world has been crushed and while reading this very sensitive message, and my heart was breaking, my dad was panting and had to run to the bathroom. My mom can't take him nor will he go with her. I was so frustrated in that moment, because I can't even have a minute to process a thought or feeling, because I am always pulled in different directions. I remind myself that it is Peter who wanted me to move my parents in with us. Yet he is gone, and I am managing both of them 24/7 ALONE.
Three things I am grateful for:
- Julian, the kind AT&T rep.
- The swelling from the bee sting on my eye lid has significantly reduced today.
- My neighbor's dog coming over to say hi to me today while I was out watering. Sophie and Sunny used to be good buddies.
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