Tuesday, March 11, 2025

Tuesday, March 11, 2025 -- Mattie died 785 weeks ago today. 

Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. I can tell that Mattie was admitted to the hospital that day. How do I know? Because Mattie was wearing clothes. Mattie refused to wear anything other than pajamas when living in the hospital. But this photo says it all. Mattie was having a physical therapy session in the middle of the hospital hallway. Trailing after him was Tricia (on the left), Mattie's favorite HEM/ONC nurse. Tricia was one of the first nurses we met when Mattie started treatment and she is an extraordinary person and professional, as she not only cared for Mattie, but all three of us. I shall never forget our amazing treatment family.

Quote of the day: Repeated trauma requires you to create a system of defenses that protects you. And these protections were so important. They saved your life. They protected your real self. ~ Gretchen L. Schmelzer

Somehow the stars and planets aligned today. Two things were accomplished on the farm. The first was that the septic system was pumped out. I have to admit I was nervous, because it would be my luck that a major issue would be found with the system, such as blockage, clog, or tank crack. The fellow who was on the property for thirty minutes was lovely. I learned that the system has NO problems and we don't need to pump out the tank for another four years. Truthfully I felt like I won the lottery. What I wasn't prepared for however, was the smell. Once the big stone cap was removed from the septic tank, the smell of sewer came rushing into the first floor of the house. Truthfully it was bordering on sickening. I had the exhaust fan on from our range in order to help suck out the air from inside the house. I couldn't even open a window, because the smell was everywhere. But once the septic tank was sealed and the truck drove off the property, fresh air returned. Honestly, if every repair and issue at the house was this easy, I would be happy!

The second issue was the temporary cable was removed from our property and a permanent cable was laid. About a month ago our cable was cut as a result of neighborhood construction. I have been dealing with this temporary cable running over grass, bushes, a neighbor's driveway, and throughout my property. I took my parents out for frozen yogurt this afternoon, and when I got back home, I didn't see the temporary cable anymore! Everything was cleaned up, and we had WIFI and cable working inside the house. Truthfully I view this as two miracles today, as I was preparing for the worst (which is based on experience here!). 

It was 70 degrees today! This inspired me to start spring cleaning on our porch. Literally I brought things inside to wash them, I cleaned all the tables and furniture and then began sweeping the porch. I even connected hoses and washed down the wood. I am trying to determine what to do with this wood to protect it, but what I do know is it will take several cleanings to get this space back up and operational. 

One of the features I fell in love with when we were buying this house, is this covered porch. It is complete Southern charm, surrounded by greenery and with privacy. Right next to the porch is a garden fountain, that I run year round for the birds. This is a space that Sunny used to absolutely love. In fact, I can't look at this sofa without seeing Sunny sitting on it. This porch and our house should be bringing so much happiness, as it is beautiful and we worked hard to get it looking this way. It was supposed to be the next chapter in our life. It is hard to believe that not only is there NO NEW chapter, the whole book of my life has been rewritten and destroyed.