Tonight's picture was taken in November of 2008. Mattie was in the oncology clinic and working with his art therapists that day. There was a project going on in the clinic, in which the children were given a ceiling tile that they could design and paint. Then the tiles were rehung on the ceiling. It literally was like a very creative mural, designed by patients from the clinic. Any case, Mattie wanted to paint a big roach on his ceiling tile! Why? Not because Mattie was acquainted with roaches, but because he knew I hated them, and it caused most people to react in a squeamish manner. Believe it or not, Mattie used this roach print out to create a large scale roach for his ceiling tile. Eventually that tile made it to the ceiling and it made Mattie laugh whenever he saw it! In fact, Mattie created about four different ceiling tiles, and he was proud of each and every one of them. I can't tell you how it would bring a smile to his face to see his creations on display! For me, it was magical to see his smile, especially knowing his pain and journey.
Quote of the day: There is only one thing in this world worse than dying and that’s watching someone you love die instead—you feel their pain with no final solace. ~ Caroline George
At 4pm today, I stopped what I was doing to visit with my neighbor. As crazy as this sounds, I can't tell you all I had to juggle just to make this visit a possibility. These are neighbors I FIRST met when we moved into our house in 2021. They have been incredibly supportive and when I learned about my neighbor's accident three weeks ago, I tried the best I could to help and assist. While she was in the hospital, I reached out to my dad's home health company. This company provides us in home nursing and physical therapy throughout the year. I literally called them, told them about my neighbor, and told them they had to set up services with the hospital case manager. I also advised them, that when my neighbor returns now NOT to send the B Team of caregivers, because if they do, they will be fired. YES I literally said that, and they understood! Given this company knows my role in my parent's lives, they know I mean business. I am a full service caregiver, and I am not afraid to get my hands dirty. Therefore, I would never ask someone to do something that I wouldn't do myself. My neighbor told me tonight that she is so grateful that I made this connection for her, because it takes the stress off of her and she can instead focus on recovery!
Observing my neighbors, my parents, and my former in-laws (NOT to mention my years of research and professional support to family caregivers), what I have concluded is that AGING is not for the meek. The one commonality that all these people have is they have CHILDREN. I honestly do not know how those of us without children and a spouse make it! Sure you can hire people or go to a facility..... however, it is NOT the same! NO ONE is going to care for you like someone you know and love. That is the simple, pure, and honest reality. Which of course makes me pause and worry. The death of my child and my divorce, maybe ONE TIME events, but these are events rule, regulate, and have destroyed my life.
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