A Remembrance Video of Mattie

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki



June 12, 2026

Friday, June 12, 2026

Friday, June 12, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2003. Mattie was a year old. That weekend we took him to Great Falls Park. This Park has it all..... from wildlife to rapids and waterfalls. Though I tried to take a photo with Mattie, you can see that he wanted to get down and explore everything that caught his eyes!



Quote of the day: There comes a point where you no longer care if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You’re just sick of the tunnel. ~ Ranata Suzuki


All I can say is................DEAR GOD! I truly can't make up the kind of day I have had. It is 11:30pm, and I have had NO dinner and have been strung out for hours. The day was moving along as usual, until I got home with my dad at around 4pm. It was at that point I got an email and a phone call from my mortgage agent. Just when I think the round of questions and additional documentation will stop, or I will get a break from it, NO... MORE gets piled on me. Today's request was over the top, because it required documentation from my parents. Documentation I did not have. My typical mode of operation now is PANIC and ANXIETY. After I flip out, I then attack the problem. I am absolutely sick of problems and crises. It is wearing me out. 

While trying to compile documentation, we had a massive storm. The storm took out our power! Normally that wouldn't be a problem, as we have a generator. But the generator wasn't working. Without power, my mom was going crazy. As in my house, we have poor cellular service and we need Wi-Fi. Without Wi-Fi, nothing works. So I was dealing with my mom, who was walking around in circles, my dad was asking the same questions over and over, and I knew I needed a solution. As it is very hot out, I knew we couldn't stay overnight in the house without air and electricity. It was at that point, I reached out to my electrician. I couldn't text him, as I had no Wi-Fi, so I walked around outside until I got a bar of cellular service and I called Bob. He answered immediately and asked.... what's wrong! He was at home, with his granddaughter, but he could hear I was distraught. He called his company and he had them dispatch a generator specialist to the house. Thankfully Shaun showed up in 90 minutes and diagnosed the problem. I must have been so hysterical that he gave me a free battery replacement. As I told him, he is my generator angel! It is thanks to Shaun that the generator is working and we have lights and are operational.

But in the process of losing power, this impacted my alarm system. I spent the next two hours on chat with an agent doing a step by step process! Thanks to this wonderful person, I resolved that problem too! It is now 11:40pm, and my nerves are shot! It is a horrible way of living and I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Just more tunnel!

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