Tuesday, June 9, 2026

Tuesday, June 9, 2026 -- Mattie died 849 weeks ago today.

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2004. Mattie was two years old. I absolutely love this photo! Mattie and I were playing with his Mr. Potato Head toy. One of the accessories in the set was this yellow pair of glasses. Instead of Mattie putting them on Mr. Potato Head, he wore the glasses himself! Upside down no less! To me this was a priceless moment, which was why I snapped a photo!

Quote of the day: Heartbreak is something you learn to live with as opposed to learn to forget. ~ Kate Winslet

It was another early morning. My dad was scheduled to meet with a new physical therapist today. One of his usual therapists is on vacation and so this woman visiting today was supposed to cover for my dad's therapist over the next two weeks! In any case, this woman contacted me last night, requesting to come today. In addition, she gave me a two hour time frame, 10am to noon. Meaning, she would show up someone within that window of time. I did not like that notion, especially since none of my dad's other providers do this! My life is stressful enough, as I manage the daily routine of both of my parents, not knowing exactly when this therapist was coming today, practically pushed my apple cart right over the cliff. I even called the home care agency and complained about this policy! 

Any case, when this therapist showed up, we were like oil and water. She did have a session with my dad, but after today, I told her NOT to return. I will wait for my dad's therapist to come back from vacation in a week. I no longer have the patience or strength to be playing games with new attitudinal people. 

In addition to everything else, I also baked four dozen chocolate chip cookies for my dad's caregivers at his memory care center. They are celebrating caregiver appreciation week and the leadership of the center asked families to help celebrate the week with treats and cards. Naturally I could have bought cookies, a cake, and a card, but instead, I thought it would mean more if I baked cookies and made a handcrafted card! 

I got a call from my mortgage agent. He was calling me as I was awaiting for the physical therapist and while I had cookies in the oven. He asked if I could talk, and I literally said..... it depends on how long you need to talk to me for! Any case, today's call with just a check in, as he confirmed that they have all my documents that were requested and now I have to await for the second round of requests! Seriously that I have not jumped off the roof yet, is remarkable. In the midst of that I sat down to do my monthly house budget. When I reviewed all the bills I have to pay, what came to my mind was..... I must really be hated to have been left with all of this stress to manage on my own. I range from sadness to intense anger on any given day, and frankly I do not see a good future ahead. All I can see is constant stress, financial worries, and being alone.... as my family of three is now just ONE, a very lonely number!