Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

February 11, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tonight's picture was taken last February in the Childlife playroom of Georgetown University Hospital. Mattie worked very hard on designing Valentine's cards and other masterpieces for me. In fact, he spent over an hour with Jenny, Jessie, Linda, and several volunteers, as he diligently worked on his creations. When I was finally invited back into the playroom, Mattie surprised me with a big cardboard box, with his own Mattie designs on it. Naturally I still have the box and every valentine he created that day. When we opened the box together, the box was literally filled with hearts of all sizes and many cards. As you can see in the picture, we were admiring a heart Mattie made that had a flower attached to it! Mattie was animated that day, and the young volunteers seemed really captivated by his energy. This was the first encounter they had with Mattie, and despite the fact that he was fighting cancer, on a good day, he could be VERY, VERY charming, and VERY, VERY engaged and ON!

Poem of the day: I'M STILL HERE


Mom and Dad, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a friend's face.
Just look for me, Mom and Dad, I'm everyplace!


This poem, "I'm still here," caught my attention today. Mainly because as I was waking up this morning, I distinctly heard a voice saying "mama." For just that moment in time, I literally thought Mattie was calling me, until my usual reality set in. The sound seemed so real, and so child like. I can't explain it, other than I guess logically my mind is playing tricks on me. Nonetheless, a part of me very much wants to believe that Mattie does visit us and is STILL HERE.
 
The past couple of days have been hard for Peter and I. We have been home bound, surrounded by Mattie's things, and though that is challenging enough, having to sift through closets and bags is down right impossible. When we travel, we always take a particular carry on bag with us on the plane. However, we used this bag throughout Mattie's treatment days at Georgetown. As I opened this bag this afternoon, it was filled with Mattie's Legos, notebooks, crayons, a zipped bag filled with toy cars, and the list goes on. I almost wanted to zip up the bag, and say, "forget it, I can't deal with this." But I dealt with it, and naturally remembered all the times he used each of these items. I honestly don't know how I am to ever part with these items. For several days now I have been dealing with clothes and bags everywhere. In the past, in my organized state, packing was easy, but now I don't know where anything is anymore. I am sure to the reader this may seem absolutely absurd or hard to imagine. But remember, Peter and I lived our lives in the hospital for over a year. On our periodic stays at home, we were literally dumping the hundreds of things we acquired during our hospital stays. So after a year of neglect to a home, chaos insues. I am the living proof of this. I do not like living in chaos, but what is the alternative? The alternative means cleaning up everything that is MATTIE. I am not ready to do this either, and I am not sure when I will be. Fortunately I have supportive people in my life who aren't judging me for my decisions, which makes me feel less pressure about the whole thing.
 
In the midst of another home bound day, I received a delightful e-mail from a former student of mine, Ariel. Ariel is a daily blog reader and it means a lot to me that she and other students of mine continue to stay connected to me and reflect on Mattie's story. Ariel's message means a great deal to me, and it literally brightened up my day. So much so, that I asked her permission to share her e-mail with you tonight. You can find her e-mail below. In addition, Ariel also gave me permission to share the personal statement she wrote for Columbia University's admission process to nursing school. I am deeply honored that Mattie's story inspired her to study and train to be a pediatric oncology nurse.

Pediatric oncology nurses are amazing people to me. They are not only competent and capable individuals, but they are people who instill HOPE. After all, without hope there is no way you can endure the daily battles of chemotherapy and surgery. Mattie's nurses are extraordinary people who not only cared for Mattie, but cared for his whole family. I most certainly think pediatric oncology is NOT for the meek, but it does provide a real and very human way to connect with patients and their families unlike any other form of medicine I have previously experienced. Naturally I am proud of Ariel, and I am proud of her decision and her courage to want to help children as they fight the ultimate battle of their lives.
_________________________________________________

Ariel's personal statement (Ariel submitted this statement to Columbia University, where she will be getting a nurse practitioner degree, and specializing in pediatric oncology.)

I remember wearing an oversized lab coat that was severely dragging as I patrolled the corridors of the busy medical office. With clipboard in hand, and nametag proudly displayed on my chest, I felt that I was ready to prescribe medication and handle any situation that a patient might need help with. Unfortunately, I was only ten years old.


“Take your daughter to work day” was always one of my favorite days of the year because my father is a doctor and my mother is a nurse. The idea of making people better was a captivating one for me, even as a small child. Whenever any of my childhood friends had anything wrong with them, I would always be there, diagnosing their cases and trying to make them feel better. Whether it is something that I learned, or the genetic link to my parents, I have always felt a need to try to help people. When I was old enough to seriously contemplate what my future plans would be, I knew they would be in the medical field, with direct patient care. I needed to see an immediate impact with my work. Each of my parents had their own opinion as to whether I should become a doctor or a nurse, but I knew that they would support any decision that I made.

I found the perfect happy medium between the two professions. I want to become a nurse practitioner. I chose nursing because I felt that nurses have more of a hands-on relationship with their patients than doctors. Additionally, I want to pursue my nursing education to its fullest potential. As a nurse practitioner, I will be able to share in some of the doctor’s responsibilities, such as management of patient care.

Ever since I knew I wanted to enter the medical profession, I knew that I wanted to be in the pediatric field, as I have always loved working with children. When I was young, I did a lot of community service, which continued throughout high school and college. When volunteering, I always chose to donate my time to organizations that were geared towards helping children. During my time volunteering at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, I became interested in pursuing a career working with pediatric cancer patients.

I became sure about this decision after following my professor’s blog that detailed her son’s thirteen-month fight against osteosarcoma. Mattie was a 7 year old who passed away from this horrible disease in September 2009 and his mom, Vicki, gave daily updates describing their very difficult journey. Vicki frequently talked about Mattie’s nurses and how wonderful they were. It was clear from reading her entries that Mattie truly loved his nurses and that they were a vital part of his fight against cancer. They truly cared about him and helped make his frequent stays in the hospital as tolerable as they could be. After reading about his wonderful nurses, I decided that I wanted to be able to help children like Mattie. People often question my desire to become a pediatric oncology nurse practitioner, telling me how sad and difficult it will be. While I do not expect it to be easy, I do know that it would be extremely rewarding to be able to help make children’s battles against cancer, like Mattie’s, more bearable. Additionally, I know that I possess the compassion necessary to be successful in the field. As a pediatric oncology nurse practitioner, I intend to work in a hospital caring for sick children and helping to make them the healthy and happy children they deserve to be.

It is not often that people go into the profession that they dreamed of as a child. I was fortunate to have supportive parents and an opportunity for a great education, but I have also worked very hard to pursue my goals. I plan on continuing my education and I look forward to applying what I have learned and using it to help others.
___________________________________________

I would like to end tonight's posting with two messages. The first message is from my friend, Charlie. Charlie wrote, "I hope today was a productive day for you. I like many others, was overtaken by cabin fever and managed to escape the house for a while. I know that every time you open a closet or pull out a suitcase you uncover memories of these last two years. I do hope you got out today and spent some time with friends; as I've said before being housebound with grief for company makes for very long sad days. I am glad you will be getting away for a while even though I know getting ready for the trip is a monumental task, I do think it will be worthwhile in the long run. As always I hold you gently in my thoughts."  

The second message is from one of my students, who was and still is a big Mattie supporter. Ariel wrote, "I haven't written in a little while, and just wanted to let you know that I continue to think of you every day. I am so glad you had the opportunity to go to LA for the weekend and see your parents. I'm glad Peter made it back from FL...I can't believe all this snow!! I wanted to let you know that I found out today that I got into Columbia for their Nurse Practitioner Program. I am not sure if I ever told you, but in my application essay, I spoke about Mattie, your blog and how his story inspired me to want to go into pediatric oncology. So this June, I will begin my journey to become a pediatric oncology nurse practitioner and have the opportunity to help children like Mattie. I really hope you know how instrumental you have been in my education/career path! It is because of you and the Child Development course I took with you that I am working at the World Bank Children's Center. Your class also taught me so much about children and their development which is obviously crucial to be able to work with them (both now in the school setting and in the future in the medical setting). Also, the course I took with you was my first human services course, and after the wonderful experience I had, I knew for sure that I wanted to become a major. Of course I wish more than anything that it didn't take Mattie's suffering to help me decide to go into oncology, but you have no idea how much of an impact he has had on my life, and I only met him once! Please keep me updated on the walk you are planning, as I still would love to help out in any way!! I will continue to hold you, Peter and of course Mattie in my thoughts."

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Vicki - What Ariel says is true... you and your family have touched more people than you will ever know! Ariel is going to make a GREAT nurse!
~Jenny