Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2007. Peter, myself, and my parents took Mattie to Coronado, near San Diego. Mattie loved going to Coronado and he especially loved all the attractions and adventures of San Diego. That particular afternoon, Peter went swimming with Mattie in the hotel pool. When Mattie got out of the pool, he wanted to sit on top of me. He was all wet, but that did not stop him or me for that matter!

Quote of the day: And then it was, that grief and pain made themselves known to me as never before. Note this, because I knew the full absurdity of Fate and Fortune and Nature more truly than a human can bear to know it. And perhaps the description of this, brief as it is, may give consolation to another. The worst takes its time to come, and then to pass. The truth is, you cannot prepare anyone for this, nor convey an understanding of it through language. It must be known. And this I would wish on no one in the world. ~ Anne Rice

When I came across tonight's quote, I knew I had to post it to the blog. I couldn't have said it better. Experiencing the loss of a child is beyond traumatic and it is beyond enormous. I could write about it until I am blue in the face and try to paint a picture for my readers. But in all honestly unless you have personally suffered such a loss, I realize it is hard to understand the magnitude of my feelings. In fact, it would be impossible to prepare anyone for this type of loss, and I am relieved that most people will never have to face what Peter and I do each day. It is a pain that goes beyond what the human language can convey. Nonetheless, I give my readers a great deal of credit because most of you absorb what I am saying and yet keep returning the next day. Some of you have been reading this blog for almost three years. For which I am very grateful! After all Mattie's blog was created in July of 2008. So this July, it will mean I have been writing each and EVERY day for three years. This fact is almost hard to grasp.

I walked again this morning, and this routine is definitely important for getting me up and out of our home. Otherwise, it would be very easy to just stay put and not interact with others all day long. But it was a day filled with chores and yet I am working on two very interesting connections and opportunities for the Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation. I will let you know about them as they unfold. In the midst of my day, I received a lovely picture from my friend Debbie. I gave her a car ribbon magnet that promotes Mattie Miracle. She not only thanked me, but she attached a picture for me to see the gift in use. That meant a lot to me as do all our volunteers who worked so hard on this year's successful Walk.  

I would like to end tonight's posting with a message from my friend and colleague. Nancy wrote, "WOW!, the Foundation is presenting $25,000 to Georgetown Hospital. This is only the beginning of your successes in supporting children and their families as they fight this dreadful disease. It will change how current practices are now metered to families and patients. Part of why there is so much angst in the world is because of people's needs not being met. We understand this as counselors and the Foundation's message is for everyone. This is one of the reasons Brett Thompson took on the Foundation as a client. He recognizes the importance of your mission. Seeing you stand among the interns tells me that you will be involved with them as you were teaching. Although you don't see yourself in a classroom right now, the legislative arena will be your classroom and these interns are your students. I know that you will teach them well whenever you work together. I was happy to see that Carolyn Maloney is on board. She is our Representative for Roosevelt Island. She is a powerful force and has done a lot for our district. Now to your dream. I agree that the 'monsters' likely symbolize the cancer. I see your conflict as in the dream you were able to destroy the monsters and Mattie was still alive. What I found fascinating was you were able to reach a conclusion with this dream, not like some of your others. I believe that is an affirmation that you did conquer the cancer with all of your might. You are not G-d and can't decide whether someone lives or dies; that is why Peter and you couldn't keep Mattie here. I'm sorry that had to happen. You continue to do everything that you can to remember, honor, and love him everyday."