Sunday, March 31, 2013Tonight's photo was taken in April of 2005, as we celebrated Mattie's third birthday. The theme of Mattie's third birthday was Blue's Clues! Mattie loved the TV show, Blue's Clues. For this birthday, I hired a student I met at the George Washington University. This fellow was a wonderful kid's magician and also traveled with his own pet bunny named Hobbes. Hobbes was a major hit of the party and all the kids got to hold and pet the bunny. In addition, I created a Blue's Clues game with the kids, so literally they all had notebooks, they had to find three clues around our home, and then guess what "Blue" was thinking. The whole party was very active and Mattie had a wonderful time.
Quote of the day: And I think that in myself (and perhaps evident in what I write) fear of loss and the corresponding instinct to protect myself against loss are potent forces. ~ Richard Ford
Today may have been Easter, but for Peter and I, it was an absolutely lost day. I can't shake the horrific headache that I have, and Peter is dealing with a fever and nausea. On top of feeling rotten, it was cold, rainy, and damp today. So there was no time outdoors to capture fresh air.
The sad part about all of this is each year at this time we both get sick. The feeling seems depressing and just makes us seem further disconnected from reality. Holidays are family times and they only serve to further remind us who is missing from our lives, and that our lives will never be the same.
My friend Denise sent me the following quote by Julia Cameron this week.....................
Our bodies
are storytellers. We store memories in our bodies. We store passion and
heartache. We store joy, moments of transcendent peace. If we are to access
these, if we are to move into them and through them, we must enter our bodies to
do so. When we encounter an emotional shock, the trauma of a lost beloved, the
grief of separation, our bodies count the cost. Our minds may go numb, adroit
at denial, but our bodies hold fast to the truth.
This quote resonates with me, because it isn't just a theory for me. I see it operationalized within my own life. The loss of Mattie is trapped within our bodies. Even if we want to deny this reality, our bodies tell us otherwise. I am signing off for today, but it is my hope that our readers who celebrate Easter, had a lovely day with your friends and family. I realize holidays can be challenging days for all of us, but if you have a healthy child in your life, in many ways you have been granted a blessed day.
2 comments:
Hi Vicki and Peter - I had to pass on a funny memory Nora shared with me a week or so ago. It struck me because it has been quite a while since she talked about Mattie and it is a story I haven't heard before.
She remembered that when they were in the block room together, Mattie built a house out of the waffle blocks but he told Nora she couldn't go in the house or he would tape her to the wall. Well, Nora (being Nora) went in the house anyway, and so Mattie taped her to the wall using the different color masking tape they always had access to. She remembers thinking it was so funny!
It also made me remember (and appreciate all over again) the wide variety of STUFF that was available to our kids at RCC and how much fun they had finding different uses for all of it.
I hope you both feel better soon!
Danelle
Vicki,
I sincerely hope you are able to shake that headache soon. I still read your blog, even though I don't post much. You are still in my prayers.
Your fellow osteo mom from NV,
Kristi
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